include_once("common_lab_header.php");
Excerpt for A Fat Girl's Confidence: I'm Fat. So What? by , available in its entirety at Smashwords



A Fat Girl’s Confidence

I’m Fat. So What?



By



Patrice Shavone Brown





Copyright © 2018 by Patrice Shavone Brown

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise – except for brief quotations in printed reviews - without the prior written permission of the publisher or the author.

Smashwords Edition





Table of Contents



INTRODUCTION

CONFIDENCE

A FAT GIRL’S CONFIDENCE

DAY ONE: I LOVE ME

Activity Day 1:

DAY TWO: I AM ENOUGH

Activity Day 2:

DAY THREE: I AM HAPPY WITH ME

Activity Day 3:

DAY FOUR: I AM FAT AND (NOT BUT) HAPPY

Activity Day 4:

DAY FIVE: I AM SOMEBODY; I MATTER, I AM FREE

Activity Day 5:

DAY SIX: I AM LOVED

Activity Day 6:

DAY SEVEN: AFFIRMING YOUR CONFIDENCE

Activity Day 7:

YOU ARE MORE THAN HOW YOU LOOK

AN OPEN LETTER TO CONFIDENT LADIES

YOUR THOUGHTS; PEN THEM DOWN

4 REASONS YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR THOUGHTS IN WRITING

MORE ON POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE THINKING

3 WAYS TO CAPTURE YOUR THOUGHTS

RELEASING YOUR INNER ENERGY

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU RELEASE YOUR INNER ENERGY

5 WAYS TO RELEASE YOUR INNER ENERGY

YOU TAKE ORDERS FROM YOURSELF ALONE

7 REASONS YOU DON’T NEED TO SEEK EXTERNAL APPROVAL

JOURNAL GROUPS: GROWING YOUR CONFIDENCE EXPONENTIALLY

BENEFITS OF JOINING A JOURNAL GROUP

Activities for Journal Groups

A FAT GIRL ALSO GETS TIRED: WAYS TO HAVE FUN, RECHARGE YOURSELF AND RELAX YOUR BODY

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A FAT GIRL GETS TIRED?

What to Do When You Get Tired

4 Ways to Relax and Have Fun

Health and Social Implications of Rest and Relaxation

CONCLUSION

A FAT GIRL’S CONFIDENCE PLEDGE





Introduction



I am Patrice Shavone Brown, a Mental Health Counselor, and Director. I am an author, motivational speaker, life coach, actress, and a single mother. I own a mental health facility, which I have run for five years at the time of this writing. I am the oldest of three siblings and have a disability, which motivated me into a helpers’ profession.

I have struggled with my weight for years to the point that the ups and downs of gaining weight are no longer something I would be ashamed of. I have learned that I have to love myself regardless of my size. This was never easy for me because I had certain family members who would say, “You are getting bigger; you need to stop eating.” “Now stop eating!” Yes, people said mean things to me and, trust me, they stung me like bees. You see, in my journey of being a fat girl, I found peace and acceptance of myself first. Before my confidence began, I had to develop strength.

Although what I am about to share may seem crazy, it is not. When building on anything in life, you have to practice and strengthen yourself. You have to admit that you are fat and prepare your mind for people’s reactions. This preparation gets you ready to respond to the judgments of others. Confidence begins when you have prepared yourself and accepted your flaws. Self-esteem building is all about knowing that you are important, needed, loved, and different, and that we all have flaws but are beautiful still.

I have written this book, A Fat Girl’s Confidence, so that you can become aware of my journey into the recognition of myself as beautiful; fat or big notwithstanding. As a woman shaped differently (by society’s standard for beauty), I have been challenged to write about my feelings and experiences as I was labeled obese at the age of 30.

The word obese seems harsh but funny to me. I had always heard fat and was okay with being just fat. Obese sounds like I am a big, fat case of death monster! Say it, O-BEE-S. So now, society has labeled me a beast because I am fat. If the word obesity is not enough to kill one’s self-esteem or confidence, I do not know what will. I am motivated to share my tips of confidence because, even with the label obese, I still love what I see in the mirror.

As a teenager, boys loved me and, yes, in school boys crushed on fat girls too. As an adult, men like me for what they see in me. I don’t want any female that is a size 8 or below to make you feel like you are a nobody just because you are fat. If you are a teenager or a grown woman battling with weight and negative comments from others, hold on beautiful, your motivational fat girl is here to help you feel better about being you!

I have come to inspire you into a one-week commitment to change your mindset about being fat. My mindset is that I am always going to be fat or big, but I have to atone. I have to be happy with myself when I look in the mirror with clothes on or clothes off. I will lose weight when I need to or want to, but it will happen only when I choose. I refuse to listen to society tell me that I am not good enough.

This book is a seven-day self-esteem workbook and inspiration book for fat girls. It has day one through day seven listed along with seven inspirational boosts and actions that will help you begin to boost who you truly are in God’s eye. This book has secrets on learning to manage your weight as well as learning to shape your body. It focuses on finding the beauty within us as well as helping us decide to get up and live in our heavy shoes because no one can do that the way we can as fat girls.





Confidence



When we hear the word confidence, we immediately think of boldness and of one being comfortable in one’s skin: the way one looks, talks, and the way one carries oneself while walking. And when we think of a confident girl or woman, the fat girl never comes to mind. People hardly associate being big or fat with confidence. When a fat girl is being described, we hear words like ugly and sloppy, but rarely beautiful or confident. What is confidence and how do we know that we have it? Is a confident person the slender, petite or muscular person?

For too long, society has conditioned our thinking in the direction that for you to be confident, you need to be slim and muscular. You need to have a flat tummy, a defined waistline, not so big butt, and pointed, not too big breasts. But is this really what confidence is all about, physical appearance? I doubt it. Listen, we are all beautiful in our own ways, but confidence is not all about physical appearance. Yes, your physical appearance has a part to play in your degree of confidence—which is why I am writing this book to you—but confidence is so much more than just physical beauty, and it is very important to me that you become aware of this reality.

By definition, confidence is the ability to believe in yourself and your self-worth. It is the acknowledgment and awareness of your intrinsic worth as a human being, so that even when other people try to make you believe that you are worthless, you merely shrug it off because you are already aware that you are fundamentally good-to-go! You have to believe in and assure yourself that you are enough whether big, fat, or small. Never buy the lie that you are not good enough because you are bigger than society’s idea of the perfect body size. Confidence is having a healthy self-esteem and self-image. You must believe in yourself and in your ability to be a confident person. You need that to be able to do anything worthwhile in life.

For instance, your self-esteem must be high for you to participate in sporting activities or attend a tryout. Would a person who did not believe that they had what it takes attend tryouts? Would an applicant apply for a job if they felt they were not capable of performing the job? So you have to, first of all, believe in yourself, fat or not. You have to believe in the fact that your physical appearance has little or nothing to do with your self-worth and should not determine your level of confidence. And, for crying out loud, we are talking about just body size here. If you as a fat girl shrink yourself because of how you look, what would you expect handicapped people to do? But history has witnessed that even people with no arms and legs have stepped ahead of their handicap and achieved firsts that have left the world in awe. So, what do we say about you who have all your body parts intact and your only problem is that you have a generous share of body size?

Confidence is turned on automatically when you believe that you have what it takes to live your life. It could be something as simple as wearing a beautiful dress, high heels, or even a bathing suit. It takes confidence to step out in certain clothes, especially if you are a larger woman. If you are like me, wearing bathing suits may not come easily for you. I have thunder thighs and have always felt insecure about them. There are other fat women, on the other hand, who will boldly wear their bathing suits and strut along. That’s what I am talking about: the ability to put on a bathing suit if I want to or have a need to regardless of my body size. That is confidence. It is confidence because I am no longer thinking about people’s opinion about my appearance. I am doing it for me and not for anyone else.

Confidence is doing our thing without worrying about what people may think or say. When we begin to build confidence, we have to simply be ourselves and move regardless of the odds. We have to move regardless of gossip. We have to move regardless of our stretch marks, cellulite, dimples, and dents. Beauty is within the eyes of the beholder, and you are the most important beholder of your beauty. Confidence is loving yourself, flaws and all. Women, it is time to relax more when we talk about our flaws and celebrate them. As a fat girl, I have experienced negative comments and feedback from others. I am a woman who has grown tired of false illusions of what we as women should look like. I have had disagreements with men and women about my body type. I am proud of who God created me to be. I am not stressing myself out anymore trying to be what the world expects me to be. I am great just the way I am, and if I want to make changes to my body, the decision will be all mine. I am writing this book to help you heal and change your mindset about your weight and to help you build self-esteem. Confidence is a skill or ability that we all have, but it is up to you to use it.





A Fat Girl’s Confidence



From the introduction and the title of this book, I am sure you are now well aware that the person writing to you is a fat person, a fat girl; I have battled with my weight for the greater part of my life. But what you may not know is my fat girl’s secrets that have kept me from having low self-esteem or hating myself. I look at myself as a beautiful woman just like anyone else skinny or big. I wrote this book for all the fat girls in the world who have ever felt ugly. It is filled with inspirational self-study material. I want to let you in on how I did it so that you too can become comfortable and confident in your skin. I will be taking you on a seven-day journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-appreciation. We shall work on both your inner beauty and your outward appearance with the declarations and activities packaged for the next seven days.

Throughout this week, I want you to think about these words: fat and confident, fat and happy, and God made this fat. These words speak power to your life. Not only are you acknowledging your size, but you are adding value to it by accepting what God has made. Starting today, we are going to have fun with being who we are and not listening to other people’s judgment of us.





Day One
I Love Me



Affirmation: Look into the mirror today and say seven times to yourself, “I love me”.

I will ask you a question, and I want you to answer it sincerely: Do you love yourself? When you look in the mirror, do you appreciate what you see? I am not talking about you posting all over social media with the hashtags self-love and self-crush meanwhile, you cannot stand the sight of anything about yourself. No. What I mean is, do you truly love yourself, faults and all? If you do not, you will inadvertently give off the same energy of self-hatred to people around you, who will, in turn, see you the way you see yourself. Yes, people take you as seriously as you take yourself.

Now it is okay if, up to the point of your encounter with this book, you have not come around to liking yourself because, sincerely, you do not love what you see in the mirror. I have stepped in to show you how to develop that self-love and self-acceptance.

Am I Fat or Overweight?

There is a big difference between being fat and being overweight. Fat is just one of the varieties of body types, just like we have fair or dark for skin color types. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a fat person. In fact, when a naturally fat person loses weight up to the point of becoming thin, there is a problem. I know it is difficult to absorb this information because society has filled us with the belief that if you do not look like that thin girl on the cover of the magazine, there is something wrong with you. God, the Creator, loves variety and has made us in different shapes and sizes, but society is insisting that we should all be the same size. Make a decision not to listen to society.


Purchase this book or download sample versions for your ebook reader.
(Pages 1-7 show above.)