Excerpt for The Cosmic Socialite by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

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Copyright 2018 © Holly Fourchalk

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission of the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

Cover design by Peter Forde. Edited by Christine Pollock. Published by Leah Albrecht.

Choices Unlimited for Health & Wellness

Dr. Holly Fourchalk, Ph.D., DNM®, RHT, HT

Tel: 604.764.5203

Websites: &


ISBN 978-1-7752425-4-3 (softcover)

ISBN 978-1-7752425-5-0 (PDF)

ISBN 978-1-7752425-6-7 (EPUB)

ISBN 978-1-7752425-7-4 (MOBI)

Smashwords Edition


Names and situations are altered to protect confidentiality.

Tom repeatedly claims he is not an Ascended Master; he is continuing his journey on the other side and is only providing what he is aware of and understands.

I looked up Ascended Master on the internet and got the following from Wikipedia, “In the Ascended Master Teachings, Ascended Masters are believed to be spiritually enlightened beings who in past incarnations were ordinary humans, but who have undergone a series of spiritual transformations originally called initiations…. The Ascended Master Teachings refer to the Sixth Initiation as Ascension.”

Again, Tom claims he is not an Ascended Master. But he is on his journey and he wants to share it with us.

What you choose to do with it is entirely up to you.

To Tom, My Love, an awe inspiring person, both on this side and the other side

To my parents who loved Tom dearly

To all my friends and my family who provided so much support through a difficult and challenging journey



1. That Wasn’t Supposed to Happen

2. First It Was My Dogs

3. Then It Was Mom

4. And Then There Were My Health Issues

5. My Dogs, Then Mom, Then Tom

6. Now, The Story Really Begins

7. What Would We Do Without Friends

8. Tom Appeared

9. Tom Appeared in Many Ways

10. I Can Hear Tom

11. Meditation is the Key

12. The Cosmic Socialite

13. Tom Taught Me How to See Differently

14. The Cosmic Socialite Is At It Again

15. Now Tom’s Using My Dreams?

16. Tom’s Now Moving Things?

17. What If

18. A Psychic Reading

19. Funny Stuff

20. It’s 2 AM!

21. Another Psychic

22. Was That You?

23. Fixing Equipment from the Other Side?

24. Tom Connects in a Variety of Ways

25. You Want Me to Go for a Walk?

26. Meditation Versus Prayer

27. The House Sold

28. OBEs!

29. Messages from the Other Side

30. Putting in My Requests

31. Cuddling and Kissing

32. Singing Bowl Meditation

33. How Can You be Angry with Someone Who is Loving You?

34. Helping Others Too

35. Galactic Light Languages

36. I Don’t Want to Push You

37. Where Did You Go?

38. Choose to Believe in Us

39. An Old Question Answered

40. A Psychic Fair

41. Holy Shit!

42. Another Psychic Session

43. Hurt? Anger?

44. Increasing Files

45. Good Morning

46. Is That You?

47. How Do You Experience Love

48. OBEs

49. Guides?

50. The Missing Jug

51. Newsflash

52. Footsie?

53. Who’s in Charge in Dreams?

54. What Dimension?

55. Soul Mates?

56. Automatic Writing

57. Moving Day

58. Multiple Futures?

59. I Love You’ – Simple and Profound

60. He Never Leaves

61. Learning

62. He’s Good for My Ego

63. Thank Goodness for Friends

64. Different Sensations

65. Downloading

66. Soul Mates, Again

67. Memories

68. Time

69. Emotions

70. Where Two or More Gather

71. Layers of Dreams?

72. Everyone’s Laughing

73. Anger & Love

74. So Many Questions

75. Not to worry?

76. Other Friendships

77. What Terry Had to Say

78. Stargate?

79. Is It ADD?

80. Love and Color

81. Is It Me or Is It You?

82. Thank you, Mom

83. Back to Colors

84. Merlin and Color

85. Dreaming – What Does it all Mean?

86. You Sure Talk A Lot

87. “Shit!” I Want to Know!

88. Laughter is Good

89. Procrastinator Versus Doer

90. Stepping Out of the Box

91. Happy Birthday

92. The Work We Need to Do

93. Are You Supposed to be Doing the Writing?

94. Mr. Whitecoat

95. From the Beginning

96. Jane

97. Tom’s Life on the Other Side

98. An Emotional Weekend

99. Who Came to the Celebration of Life?

100. Family dynamics

101. This is Just Not Working…

102. I Think I’m Nuts

103. Have No Idea What That Was

104. Consideration of Others

105. Judgmental Thinking

106. The Movie

107. Three Month Anniversary

108. So Weird

109. Just Joking Around

110. What is the Disconnect About?

111. What Did You Mean

112. The Real Tom

113. Dr. T

114. ‘Personal’ Versus ‘General File’s

115. How Do You Block a Thought?

116. He’s a Brat

117. We are Still Preparing

118. Stop Talking?

119. Now We’re Talking…

120. The Questions Just Don’t Stop

121. His Issues, My Issues

122. Talking About Love…

123. Life lessons

124. Going Deeper

125. All Roads Lead to Rome

126. Afraid?

127. The Continuing Journey


Wow! Why this book? Why would you want to read what happened to me?

The journey so far has been incredible and mind blowing. Tom was an amazing person on this side – a wonderfully gentle, kind, affectionate person. He strove to develop spiritually and embrace ascension. When suddenly and unexpectedly he crossed over to the other side, he continued his journey of growth and development. Through an amazing series of events he shared his journey with me.

He pushed me past my self-doubting, self-questioning analytical left hemisphere thinking pattern and taught me to feel him, then hear him and then to see him.

As our ability to communicate across the dimensions increased, Tom taught me how to help people heal from a whole new perspective. I was a registered therapist for years but left the College of Psychologists frustrated with its limitations. Med school was way behind the current sciences. Naturopathic school was also behind. I trained in various healing modalities around the world and now have seven degrees and three designations. But I had never heard of all the things that Tom has taught me so far.

I have spent a lifetime reading and exploring different philosophies from different cultures; different religions how and why they developed; and I also have several degrees in psychology. I love all the differences we find around the world and throughout Eastern and Western histories and sciences.

But again, nothing prepared me for the journey with Tom or what he taught me from the other side.

From day one, Tom never left me. I could feel him hug me and cuddle me, then he started talking with me and then he taught me to see him. He learned how to connect with a wide variety of people in various different ways. He shared what he was learning and how he was learning both about the other side and about himself.

Tom continues to direct a number of books. This first book is about his, actually our, initial journey. If you are interested in the other side, what happens on the other side, how to connect with the other side, then you might want to read this book.

Tom’s understanding of healing became his second book.

Never one to stagnate, Tom went further and told me to write a book about spiritual lessons from his perspective on the other side.

As I am writing the forward to this book, I am writing yet another book about his continuing journey and I am told there are other books to come.

These books are from Tom to you. I am just the messenger. Laugh, have fun, and be open to unlimited choices and possibilities.

Note for the Smashwords Edition

Tom’s original book, Cosmic Socialite, was written for print with different fonts identifying different characters in the book. Unfortunately, this method does not meet Smashwords criteria. Consequently, if you have purchased through Smashwords, then the following will be different:

Holly’s font will be normal

Tom’s font will be italicized

Merlin’s font will be bold

‘Other psychics and mediums will be normal font with single quotes at beginning and end

- Along with bullets for follow up or additional phrases’

Chapter 1

That Wasn’t Supposed to Happen

Oh My God! Oh shit! What the hell!

That was NOT supposed to happen!

It was 8:30 in the morning when I got the call my partner, Tom, had crossed over. The prior night he took me out to dinner. We celebrated putting a down payment on a piece of property and that the floor plans I had drawn up were accepted.

What went wrong? We frequently talked of how much we loved each other. Just a few days earlier we were laughing about how our relationship was getting better and better; and how much fun we were having as we were preparing to sell my current house, so we could build the new house.

We had established all kinds of plans for travel and exploration over the next few years, and we had organized two years’ worth of monthly anniversary celebrations just a few months before. This was not supposed to happen! What was I going to do without him?

We were a very fortunate couple. We spent several years growing closer, and closer, and more emotionally intimate as friends. Then Tom crossed over that special line from friendship into romance. When I asked him why, he said he thought we were ‘ready to become romantic partners’. I was thrilled. I was certainly ready. Tom took us on a great ride; then he crossed over. Why?

That first day of grieving, I had to put an ointment on my face. The muscles ached from all the crying. Actually, I put the ointment on for three days straight; I just couldn’t stop crying. I put together a Bach Flower Remedy to help me get through the shock, the loss, the inability to think straight. I kept telling myself, “I will make it through this” or “this too will pass” or umpteen other lines, struggling to deal with the shock of losing the man I dearly loved.

Chapter 2

First It Was My Dogs

It was a challenging time. Tom and I put down my two dogs a few months before. They were Rotti-Shepherds. Princess Leah, aka Leah, had some lab in her and was a real cutie. Obi wan Kenobi, aka Obi, had some husky in him and was a handsome sport. Yes, all my dogs have Star War names; it was an established tradition before I ever met Tom.

These two dogs were 10 and 15 years old and both had MS symptoms and were having a difficult time. Within the past year, Tom had made them steps to help them get onto the bed; steps to get onto the couch; and steps to get into the car. They were not even using the steps anymore. Yes, the dogs ruled the house and owned the furniture. But they were such good dogs, I didn’t mind.

Just getting up and walking had become difficult for both of them. I talked with the vet. He thought it would be a good idea to put them both down at the same time. The younger one, Leah, had been with the older one, Obi, since she was very young. And, the vet suggested, she would probably go soon after Obi was put down anyway. This would prevent her from having to go through the grieving. Sounded logical and kind to the dogs, but what about me?

I canceled two vet appointments before we actually went through with putting them to sleep. I wanted to give them as much time as I could, but I didn’t want them to suffer. Deciding the best time was a huge challenge.

Tom, being the awesome person, he was, suggested we put them to sleep and then go on a trip so I would have time to grieve and process the loss away from home. We would be together 24/7 and travelling and having fun. What a guy! He said he didn’t mind my crying as I came to terms with it. He turned what would have been a terrible time in my life into an awesome trip. We had a blast. When the tears came up, he was gentle, understanding, and ever so sweet. He was always an incredibly sensitive, loving, gentle man, a very kind man. Thank you, Tom.

That morning, Tom and I took the dogs into the vet’s office and sat on the floor with them. I can’t remember if I had those two before I met Tom. But judging from their years, maybe I knew Tom first. Not that it matters.

Tom really was not a dog person, although he did grow particularly fond of Obi. In fact, in the last year, he would lay down on the floor with Obi and have long talks with him; it was adorable. He loved to sneak them food at the kitchen table and talk with them about “not telling ‘Mom’”, and then grin up at me with a twinkle in his eye.

Tom and I sat in the vet’s office for over an hour with tears running down both our faces. Because Tom was closer to Obi, I thought he would be holding Obi and I would be holding Leah, while the vet gave them the shots. However, life didn’t work the way I had it planned.

Leah (aka Princess Leah) got the first shot but took a long time to settle down and eventually she went and sat in Tom’s lap. He gently stroked her back, scratched her ears, and talked with her. While tears slid down his face.

They could not get the needle into Obi (aka Obi wan Kenobi). The 100 lb dog lay in my lap while they tried six times. Different types of needles, different nurses. It was heart wrenching. You can imagine the tears I had as I talked with Obi about what a good life he had, and how I hoped he understood I was doing this for his sake. How much I loved him and what a good boy he had always been.

Anyways, the two dogs finally went to sleep. I sobbed. Tom held me with tears running down his face as he told me it was the right thing to do. We cried all the way home and the tears continued while we packed the car for the holiday.

Chapter 3

Then It Was Mom

My parents lived about 5 hours away (3.5 hours if you drive like either Tom or me, which is why I have a radar detector in my car). Mom wanted to die for several years. She suffered from Lewy Body Syndrome. When you have Lewy Body Syndrome, proteins interfere with neural functioning and can cause all kinds of issues.

Thankfully, she was not in any pain. She had lost her eyesight years before when misdiagnosed with Aged Related Macular Syndrome; then again later misdiagnosed with Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. Actually, it was all to do with the Lewy Body Syndrome.

Over the years, her MD repeatedly said, the only reason she was still alive was the diet I had her on; and the tinctures and supplements I gave her. But it was a challenging process.

Mom wanted to die. Many times, she asked me to give her something to help her to cross over, claiming we are kinder to animals than we are humans. She was right, but I didn’t believe I had the right to do that, legally or morally.

Tom, my father, and I talked amongst ourselves, and with Mom, many times, about crossing over. How and why the law said we were not allowed to help her cross over. And again, we often discussed how and why we put animals to sleep but we make humans suffer! We talked about how cruel the law was and how we would like to amend the law with provisions to protect people from those lacking honor and integrity. Tom had a strong belief that we should be able to control how and when we left this life and that provoked even more discussions. We talked about different cultures where Shaman or Gurus were acclaimed to be able to end their lives and simply shut their bodies down with their minds. Mom was angry that she could not achieve that.

Personally, I had a variety of things I could have given Mom, in toxic doses to allow her to cross over; but again, that went against the law. In addition, although my beliefs went against it they were contradictory. As I’ve said, on the one hand, I thought we were kinder to animals; but on the other hand, I thought the decision to cross over was between her and her higher self. What if I interrupted a lesson she was supposed to learn; or something she was supposed to let go of; or something she was supposed to embrace. I didn’t want to be responsible for that. Consequently, she got angry with me; with God; with the universe. She wanted to die. She believed that she was a burden to Dad and to me, and we couldn’t change her mind.

We were all incredibly thankful she was not in physical pain and were as supportive as we knew how to be to ease her emotional burden.

Tom was awesome. He made things for Mom that helped her maneuver. He bought her books about life after death and about crossing over and we would read them to her.

Tom was very close to his Mom when she was alive. Moreover, he was with her when she died. He knew I wanted to be with my Mom when she died, and to be there for Dad and he actively encouraged it.

When Mom’s physician phoned me to tell me she might not make it through the night, I phoned Tom at work and said I had to leave to go to Penticton. His response was, “Give me two hours and I will drive us up.” I was so thankful. He had a big heart. As I waited, I packed up stuff for us; he was home within two hours; and he drove us up to my parents. Thank you, Tom.

Mom stabilized the next day. By the end of the weekend, Dad convinced us to go home. The physician said it could take two weeks. On Tuesday, I just ‘knew’ I needed to go back. I phoned Tom when I was already half way to my parents’ home and told him. I didn’t want him to feel like he had to take time off work again.

Dad was glad when I showed up. He was having a hard time of it. Two days later, I asked Dad if he was ready. I told him Mom was going to cross over that day. He asked me how I ‘knew’ and I responded I had no idea, I just knew. We were fortunate for that.

We spent most of the day lying on either side of her. At ten o’clock that night, with Dad facing her and holding her hand, and with me behind her cuddling her, she crossed over. It was gentle, peaceful, and graceful…just as she had been her whole life.

Dad had fallen asleep and was not aware Mom had crossed over. That left me with a difficult decision; should I let him lay there with her, or should I wake him and let him know. I prayed on this and felt a gentle peacefulness around the whole process. I woke him up to let him know. There were a few tears and he said he needed some time with her.

I left them alone while he talked with her. He told her how much he loved her for the umpteenth time and thanked her for spending her life with him and for the wonderful marriage they shared. They always shared those thoughts verbally throughout their life; now it was the last time. She had crossed over. It was beautiful. I stood at the door and listened with tears rolling down my face.

God answered her prayers; she had wanted to go for a long time. It was tearful, but good.

I stayed with Dad for a few days. I made all the necessary phone calls and went with him to the funeral home. I wrote the obituary and put it in the paper. Finally, it was time for me to go home.

Mom and Dad had had their challenges. They lost one son, Dean, at the age of two. Dean was born with a hole in his heart and died of a cardiac arrest when a surgical correction was attempted. Those two years were very difficult for them. Dean’s lungs would fill up with water. Repeatedly they had to rush him into the hospital to pump his lungs out. I can only imagine what they went through.

MDs instructed Mom to nurse Dean on one side rather than the other. When Mom followed their advice, she would typically have to rush Dean into the hospital. She learned very quickly not to follow what the physicians told her to do. In the end, they determined that she was right.

When they identified a new surgical procedure to correct these types of holes, Dean was one of the first to have the procedure. However, he died of a cardiac arrest during the first 20 minutes.

Obviously, this was a very difficult for my parents. At that time parents were not allowed to stay with their children in the hospital – our medical system has been known to be so cruel about so many things. But they hung in there and made it through. Statistics show many marriages don’t endure the loss of a child, but they made it.

My younger brother, Brad, died just after I turned ten years old. We were in a horrible car accident in July of that year. Mom and my brother were the worst injured and were flown into a larger city hospital while Dad and I were admitted to the smaller hospital in the city where the car accident occurred.

The hospitals slowly released us, one by one, over the next few months. My brother, however, remained in a coma. He died four months later, ten days after my tenth birthday.

In all, fifteen people I was close to, died by the time I was 22 years old. Consequently, I was familiar with death and our family openly discussed it.

But nothing prepared me for Tom’s crossing over.

Chapter 4

And Then There Were My Health Issues

Mom always wanted six boys; she ended up with one girl, obviously me. I was born with a genetic disorder and subsequently suffered seizures, dyslexia and attention deficit disorder (ADD) among other issues. Those with my genetic disorders usually didn’t graduate high school and were dead by the time they reached 25! Definitely not what Mom had planned.

In addition, at 22, I had the horrible experience of getting diagnosed with an ovarian tumor the size of a hard ball and told I needed surgery immediately. At the clinic, this unfeeling little physician waltzed in, told me the problem, and simply said ‘make an appointment for the surgery on your way out’; no questions; no elaborations; nothing!

I sat in shock. Eventually, I somehow got dressed. That was back in the day when you put on one of those white smocks regardless of what you went in to see the doctor about.

I don’t remember getting dressed. I know I didn’t make the appointment for surgery. I do remember being in the hallway looking for the elevator and then, being out in the parking lot wandering around in a trance, looking for the car. My husband saw me and called out to me. When I got in the car, he asked what happened, claiming I looked like I had seen a ghost. I told him what the physician said and we both sat there not knowing what to say or do.

Finally, I asked him to take me to see Mom. It gave him something to do and focus on and he engaged the car immediately and drove me to see Mom. When I walked into her office, she was still obviously at work, she looked at me and asked what happened, repeating what my husband had said; ‘you look like you’ve seen a ghost’.

I told her what the physician had said, and she asked me if I wanted it? A tumor? Cancer? Was she nuts? Later she told me I had the capacity to look both dumbfounded and amazed at the same time. Of course, I didn’t want it!! She simply said, ‘well get rid of it then.’ She meant have the surgery!!

I had a different interpretation. For me, she meant get the body to get rid of the tumor, which of course made sense. It was as if a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I went back to my husband who was patiently waiting in the car and asked him to take me home. I knew what to do. I got home and phoned my Osteopath-Naturopath.

He asked me what kind of cancer it was. I didn’t know! Wasn’t cancer just cancer? Later on, I learned there were all kinds of cancer; all kinds of causes of cancer; and all kinds of protocols to help the body eliminate different cancers. Eventually, as a Dr of Natural Medicine, I wrote a book on cancer for the general public.

The osteopath-naturopath put me on a diet. During the next three weeks, you can imagine the family pressure I got. My poor mother and father were going through a very difficult time, having already lost two sons. Between Mom phoning; all my aunts phoning; everyone telling me I was in denial; and everyone telling me I needed to go for the surgery, there was a lot of pressure. I finally agreed to go back in for another laparotomy. The tumor had shrunk to the size of a small marble, and was draining itself, hmmm. Would you believe not one of the physicians I saw ever asked me what I had done? I found that amazing. But the drama was over.

All I had done was follow a natural diet used for ovarian cancer and I eliminated the cancer! But no one wanted to know! When I asked them about it, the head of the department simply said, “It must have been a misdiagnosis.”

At the age of 26, I burnt the corneas of my eyes and was told I needed to take lessons to learn how to be blind! I had to wear thick “granny glasses” to see and they told me it would just get worse. I would be blind by the time I was 30!! I absolutely refused this prognosis. I didn’t know who to resource but did my own research and worked with my eyes in a variety of ways. When I came back a year and a half later, I had 20/19 vision!! Again, the ophthalmologist didn’t even ask me how I achieved that!!

That has happened several times in my life. I was told I would need surgery to put plates and screws into my back because it was disintegrating…never had it done and my back is fine. Conventional Western medical physicians never questioned me. Amazing! Don’t they want to know how the body can heal itself?

I have torn every cartilage, ligament and tendon in both knees and the meniscus in my right knee usually due to skiing accidents. I was told twice I would never walk again and twice I would probably never walk again. Though I never had any of the surgeries I was told I required my knees are now just fine.

In fact, with one of the ski accidents, I was referred to an osteo specialist who worked with Olympic contenders. He said I was obviously not an Olympic contender, but that I healed better than any Olympic athlete did. He asked if I was doing all the exercises the physios gave me. I explained that I wasn’t doing any of them - they were not right for me. I devised ones that benefitted my body. He simply responded with, well whatever you are doing; keep doing it because you are healing phenomenally well. Once again, he didn’t ask me what I was doing differently.

I could go on with a number of other stories, but that is not what this book is about…so let’s move on.

As I mentioned earlier, by the time I was 22 years old, 15 people ‘crossed over’ in my life. Dying is obviously a very natural part of life. We cannot avoid it. I know in war torn countries, or countries suffering from drought, famine and disease, this is usual. But in a first world nation, I think it is unusual to ‘lose’ that many people by the age of 22. And most young people can’t claim that they should have been ‘dead’ four times over. So, one might suggest that I have experienced some unusual things.

I have often said the only real cause of death is birth. I don’t believe that anymore. Well, that is not entirely true. Yes, since birth we are constantly dying as cells and organs and tissues replace themselves. I am not denying that.

What I mean is, there is no such thing as death as seen in the western cultural sense. This is what Tom taught me and I will come back to that.

Chapter 5

My Dogs, Then Mom, Then Tom

The dogs crossing over was planned. Mom crossing over was expected.

At home, Tom and I were preparing to sell the house. We packed an 8x12x12 foot storage unit to the top with ‘stuff’ so I could ‘stage’ the house. Tom re-grouted the floors and cleaned the roof soffits and fascia while I washed walls and painted. While working we laughed and made jokes about how lucky we were; about how our relationship was getting better and better; and had fun with Tom’s ‘James Bond’ humor. We stopped for hugs and kisses throughout the day and relaxed in Epsom salt bubble baths in the evenings.

We went out to dinner to celebrate the down payment on the new property and getting the floor plan approvals. The next morning Tom was gone!

Shock! Paralysis!

I didn’t know what to do with my mind or my body. I could not think straight and didn’t know how to function. I just cried; and cried; and cried.

Chapter 6

Now, The Story Really Begins

Throughout our friendship and then our relationship, Tom would often come up behind me and put his arms around my shoulders. I loved it when he did this, and once we got into a romantic relationship, kisses accompanied the hugs. Why is that important? Well, throughout the very first day after he crossed over, and for several months afterwards, I felt him come up behind me and put his arms around my shoulders.

During the first night and again for months afterwards, I felt him cuddling me at night. In fact, for the first few weeks, I repeatedly woke up feeling his arm go around me.

He was always gentle and loving, just as he was in life. It was good to have the perception of him being close to me. Throughout the day and the night, I could intermittently ‘feel’ him close to me.

After a while, I started to think it must be my mind creating these sensations as a way of dealing with the grieving. However, things didn’t slowly dissipate with time; they got more and more interesting with time.

And that is why there is a story. And why, ‘Now, the story really begins’.

Chapter 7

What Would We Do Without Friends

My friends were awesome. They knew how much Tom and I loved each other. They all knew how wonderful he was to me. Everyone that knew him thought he was a terrific guy.

One good friend, Katherine, phoned that first morning to ask about a computer issue for me. She knew something was wrong. I couldn’t keep the tears from coming. I still had not stopped crying.

She went into shock with me. She knew how close Tom and I had become over the years and was thrilled when we finally became romantic partners. The computer issue was simply forgotten, and she became a huge support system for me. She phoned every hour on the hour to make sure I was okay; instructed me to take a Bach flower formula; and make a balm for my aching face, as I could not stop crying. As a Dr of Natural Medicine, I hadn’t even thought of it. All I could think of, was ‘Tom was gone’. Why?

Another close friend, Suzanna, phoned that night when she got home from work. She had put on her PJs; made herself a cup of tea; and was just phoning to talk. She knew from my voice something was wrong. When I told her Tom had crossed over she simply said, “I’ll be right there.” and hung up.

Suzanna often made comments like, “Tom just glows when he looks at you.” or “The energy between the two of you is awesome, it’s better than any married couple I have ever seen.” She often said how she enjoyed just being around us because the energy exchange between us made her feel so good.

Ten minutes later Suzanna arrived on my doorstep, in her slippers and pajamas, and stayed the night. The word spread rapidly, and soon the house was full of friends who knew Tom, and flowers and plants.

I didn’t want to tell Dad. He loved Tom, as had Mom, but Mom had just crossed over too. How could I lay this on him, on top of Mom crossing over?

During the prior six months we had brought in nurses and care aids to help Dad take care of Mom. During that time, he developed a soft spot for Nancy, one of the nurse aids that helped with Mom. She had a fun personality and kept Dad laughing. Nancy continued to come a couple of times a week to make Dad meals and play crib with him. I phoned Nancy to see if she was at Dad’s. She was. I asked how Dad was doing and she said pretty good.

I told Nancy, Tom had crossed over. Like everyone else Nancy also thought Tom was terrific. She got emotional with the news and stepped outside. She offered her own comforting words. I asked if she thought Dad could handle the news or if I should wait. She said he could; it was a good day. She also offered to stay with him.

Dad got on the phone and I told him. As expected, he dissolved into tears. The man that took such good care of his daughter, that he had grown to love, was gone too.

Nancy, sweetheart that she is, phoned Dad’s best friend, Pat, and told him. Pat is about half way between Dad’s age and my age and for years I have called him my big brother, as he behaves like a big brother.

Well, true to form, Pat came over that night to stay with Dad. He told Dad he would drive him down to my place, the next day. Pat made the arrangements and the next afternoon they arrived. I was struggling to hold it together for Dad, but when he walked into the house, we both broke down again. Would I ever stop crying? Okay, this was only day two and I was allowed, but I was exhausted from the emotions. My face ached; my eyes were sore; and my gut throbbed from the crying.

Chapter 8

Tom Appeared

Yet, Tom kept waking me up at night with the cuddling. It was so comforting, and I would lay there crying, while holding onto the energetic sensation of him cuddling me.

While lying in bed, holding onto those sensations, I created poems in my head. I would rhyme and rhyme and rhyme. In the mornings, I could not wait to get up and write the poems down. This incredible drive to write poetry went on for about six weeks. I have never been a poet; so, this was particularly unusual for me. I wrote 84 poems in 6 weeks. They were to Tom; about Tom; questioning Tom; talking to Tom; all about Tom. Some were 3-4 pages long!

Eventually, I researched this “grieving behavior” and found writing poetry wasn’t an uncommon way of working through grieving though I wondered whether other people wrote as much as I did? In my mind, it was ridiculous. And it was weird how driven it was. It was like a force that had taken me over.

During the next week Dad helped me finish off the chores Tom was going to do to prepare the house for ‘showing’ and selling. Then I drove him back home. That night, in my parents’ home, Tom walked across the kitchen! I sat in shock. Dad asked what was that? We got up and walked around the condo looking for Tom. I stood in the living room and asked out loud, “Okay, if that was really you, I need to feel you hug me more than ever.” Nothing like being demanding!

I felt a real cold energy quickly move through my body. And then the hug came. It was strong and so close to being physical. I just stood there and cried and cried and then laughed and then cried some more. Dad just stood there looking at me not knowing what to do.

Quick detour: About 10 years after Dad’s father, my Papa, crossed over, Papa started to appear to my dad. Papa has made several appearances to Dad and even had conversations with Dad! He appeared once with Dad’s sister, and the two of them stood at the door. My grandmother, Nana, has also appeared a couple of times but like my Aunt, she doesn’t say anything. So, Dad, who is not at all philosophical, religious or spiritually inclined, and who always thought anything of that nature was just “flaky”, has had several experiences of this kind already. But now, I was having a similar experience with Tom. Thank you, Tom – I think.

Chapter 9

Tom Appeared in Many Ways

Before I drove Dad back home to Penticton, Dad took another friend, Dede, and I out for dinner. We went to a restaurant that Tom and I enjoyed. During the meal, while Dad and Dede were talking, a song came on that Tom and I liked. I imagined Tom sitting across from me and in my mind asked him if he recognized “our” song. The lights above us in the restaurant started to flicker. The tears started to roll down my face. Was that you, Tom?

While Dad was helping me prepare the house for selling, he would get a knot in his shoulders. Every time I went to work on his shoulders, I asked Tom to help me. Dad would let out a sigh and tell me ‘you got it’ or ‘you found the spot’ or ‘you released it’. We thanked Tom for helping.

Now this part needs to be put into a greater context. At some point in our friendship, I started to tell Tom he was in the wrong profession. He had phenomenal hands. We regularly gave each other hot oil massages. And while I had training in both reflexology and acupuncture, Tom had none. Yet, he had an amazing ability to find and release knots and tension in muscles. He could follow acupuncture meridians down my whole body. I had never shown him any charts or given him any information. I would ask him, “Why did you do that” or “what are you feeling when you do that”. He had an incredible intuitive capacity to know just what the body needed. And now he was doing the same thing from the other side? Thank you, Tom.

Now one might think this was just me. Maybe it was a way to deal with my grieving. A lot had happened in a short period of time: my dogs; Mom; then Tom. But you know what? It wasn’t just me!

Tom’s brother emailed and told me Tom visited him. He was making dinner one night and Tom started moving the vegetables around on the counter! Then the lights flickered in the family room and when he went into the family room, a song that was significant to the two of them was playing! Wow! Next morning, he said he felt an “energy” pull his keys out from his hand and throw them down. Tom’s brother simply said, “I just know it was Tom.”

The following Saturday was our monthly anniversary. I got up in the morning, crying, struggling to hold onto the belief that “this too will pass”, and that one day the tears would at least slow down. I reminded myself ‘it has only been two weeks’. I went into the living room to meditate. I found if I meditated, it somehow made the day easier to deal with.

During my meditation on this beautiful morning, I asked Tom if, on that side, he knew if it was our monthly anniversary. Now Tom was not originally a romantic, however thanks to help from me, he had become quite the romantic. I loved it. In response to my question, the kitchen lights started to blink. Okay, now one could suggest that just happened to be a coincidence, right?

I asked Dad if the lights had ever blinked before. Nope! Well, then I guess we will conclude that was Tom and say thank you for answering. Thank you, Tom.

Tom and I both had a history of being Jokers. So, you can imagine the fun the two of us had joking around. On April Fool’s day, I told Tom that considering he was always a joker, I expected something from him during the day.

Now, as a piece of history and context, Tom and I were always discussing how to be more effective at communicating. According to Tom, his family was not great at talking and didn’t go very deep when sharing the personal stuff. They had no problem, as with many families, talking about things that happened. They just didn’t discuss the deeper more personally intimate stuff, or the deeper emotions that went along with the stories, behaviors, events, etc. As Tom always said, I was a great one for pushing us to go deeper and deeper with conversation.

So, it was now two in the afternoon on April Fool’s Day and Dad’s wireless telephones went down. We tried unplugging them; replacing batteries; reprogramming them, nothing worked. We finally phoned the telephone company and went through three different departments trying to solve the problem. They could not. At 6PM, all the phones suddenly came back on! Dad and I just looked at one another. Tom? Dad jokingly told Tom off and told him not to do that again. Jokester? Communication? Telephones? Who knows. But I said, “Thank you, Tom.”

The following morning, I didn’t meditate. Dad and I met my pseudo big brother Pat for breakfast at 6am at Denny’s. That day I was going home but that morning, I was having a really difficult time dealing with Tom not being on this side. Dad was concerned about me driving on the highways when I was having such an emotionally difficult time. I claimed I was fine and I just needed to go home.

When I got on the highway I phoned Suzanna. I asked her to talk to me. As I have Bluetooth in the car, she could talk to me through the vehicle without issue.

I explained that I needed help to stay focused and drive without incident. And, being the sweetheart, she is, she did.

Chapter 10

I Can Hear Tom

Suzanna’s husband crossed over 10 years before due to cancer and consequently she was very familiar with the whole grieving process. She became an even more important extension of my life during those first few months. I have no idea what I would have done without her.

Suzanna talked while I drove. She was terrific. She always had a great capacity to know what to say and what I needed during those emotionally driven periods. By the time I was half way home, she had talked me into a good space and we were talking about entirely different things. I thanked her for being such an incredibly good friend and said goodbye.

Within five minutes, I ‘felt’ Tom sitting beside me in the car. Historically, whenever we drove in my car, and he was in the passenger seat, he would massage my right shoulder or take my right hand if I was resting it on the gearshift. Well, there I was driving along, and I felt him massage my shoulder and then take my hand. I had to pull over as the tears flooded down my face. I turned to the empty seat full of Tom’s energy and said, “I need to hear you. Talk to me.”

And he did. He said,

I love you so much. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to leave you.”

Well, you can imagine how my tears flooded the car. Yet at the same time, this also put me at peace and then I started to laugh through the tears. That was my Tom. He was always such an accommodating person and whenever I said I needed something, he made it happen! And apparently that part of his personality went with him to the other side. I was so blessed. After a while, it ‘felt’ like he was gone. What could I say but, “Thank you, Tom.”

Chapter 11

Meditation is the Key

It came to me that night, that if I meditated with Tom in the morning, I had a pretty good day. The mornings I missed meditating, I had horrible days. I had always said one of my worst disciplines was meditating. It was a very off/on again thing I did. Now Tom was giving me a whole different drive for daily meditation. Thank you, Tom.

The next day when I woke up and started meditating my knee was hurting. I kept moving it around trying to find a comfortable position for it when I heard Tom say, “Move it this way.” I did, and it stopped hurting! Thank you, Tom.

It was at this point I had to ask, “How is it I’m ‘hearing’ your voice? It is not outside my head, but it’s not my voice inside my head either?”

Tom replied,

It’s the same way you taught me to see energy, looking past the object to see the Energy. Listen past me to hear my voice and you will hear me.”

A few minutes later, it ‘felt’ like he was gone.

I guess that needs a little bit more explanation. I have always seen energy around people. Through the years, I also started seeing energy around plants. I had no idea that other people didn’t see what I saw. I often heard people talk about seeing auras and colors. I never saw colors, so I just assumed everyone saw the white fog-like-energy I saw. I found out in my twenties that was not the case. Since then, I have taught many other people, including Tom, how to see the subtler energies.

I also see the “plasma” in the atmosphere. I always had a difficult time explaining what it was that I saw. Then one day, Tom found a picture of it on the internet and showed me. He asked if I ever saw anything like it. I explained, with excitement, that was what I saw. He told me it was called “plasma”. An interesting term for it, I had only ever heard of plasma used as a physical biology term. Now I had a term and a picture identifying what I saw. Thank you, Tom.

When I was in naturopathic college, I had a really strange experience. I could see energy pulsate off my lab partner’s papers. The energy I saw was entirely different when she was writing notes in class versus when she was writing an exam. It fascinated me. When she wrote an exam, the energy that came off the paper was really intense and streamlined whereas when she took lecture notes the energy was much less intense and more random. I could only theorize that when she was writing an exam her energy was so directed on the question and the paper that it changed what I saw. I have no idea whether that is accurate or not.

Now, in a manner similar to the way that I have to look past a person to see their energy, Tom was telling me I needed to ‘listen past him to hear him?’ Tom further explained later, that we don’t use our ‘normal’ sensory mechanisms to hear, or see, or feel something from the other side. Well okay, that made sense to me on a superficial level, but I wanted to know more. Thank you, Tom.

Chapter 12

The Cosmic Socialite

Now I could feel Tom hug me and cuddle me; I saw him walk across the kitchen; blink the kitchen lights; turn off/on the telephone system; and talk to me. Wow! Note; Tom had been gone for less than two weeks at this point! He was impressive!

When I got home the next day, I got a call from the realtor, who sold us the property. Before I go any further, I should note; Matt really liked Tom, but who didn’t? He was the first person I talked with after I learned Tom crossed over.

He phoned that morning to set up an appointment regarding issues on the new house and asked what was wrong. When I first heard that Tom had crossed over, I just sat paralyzed in my car seat. I couldn’t talk, couldn’t move, and couldn’t function. Then the tears came, and I couldn’t stop. Not sure how long I sat in my car, in the Rona parking lot (Rona is a Home Improvement Store), before Matt phoned.

I sputtered out to Matt that I just found out Tom crossed over. He asked me where I was. I told him I was at Rona’s. He asked when I was going home. I said I was going straight home, if I could drive. How he understood me through the sobbing, I have no idea. He got home before me and just held me while I sobbed and sobbed. Now that is good Customer Service!!!

Now let’s jump forward to 12 days after Tom crossed over. Matt, the realtor, and Roger, the contractor and I had had a meeting a few days previously and Matt said he was not sure if he should tell me what happened when I left the meeting. He decided he would which was why he was phoning. We were concerned about some lighting issues Tom had brought up, so we went over them at the end of the meeting. The realtor walked me out of the office and to my car. When he returned, all the lights in the office were out.

Matt explained, “After our meeting, all the lights went out. A fuse was blown. We have been there for years and never has there been an issue with fuses before. We all knew it was Tom.”

Apparently, they all agreed it was Tom telling them they better look after me. He said he told Tom, ‘Not to worry, we will look after her.’

Right from the beginning I started chronicling everything Tom did with me and with others, in a computer file simply called ‘Chronicling Tom’s Connections’. I was struggling whether to believe it was Tom or just my mind making things up, so I could work through the grieving. When others told me of their experiences with Tom, although not scientific, it validated my experiences, and so I kept track of it all.

Katherine phoned me up and told me that she saw a figure at the foot of her bed the night before and said while she could not see any detail, she figured it was probably, well you know who, Tom. She told him to leave, as she needed to get up to go the bathroom. We both found that funny.

Another friend that enjoyed Tom was Hope. Hope had a farm with horses and chickens and beautiful gardens. She allowed Tom and I to put our honeybee hives on the farm. We wanted to start a hobby farm and she was letting us use her place. I was visiting Hope two weeks after Tom crossed over and she was so excited. She had ‘seen’ Tom three times looking after the honeybees!

Holy cow or maybe I should say, ‘Holy Bees’ ha-ha! I questioned why she hadn’t phoned to share that with me. She explained that she thought it might be too painful and didn’t want to provoke anything. Now that I was sharing all the ‘stunts’ Tom was pulling from the other side, she was happy to share her experiences with me.

It was at this point I jokingly said, “We need to write a book about this. We should call it, Tom: The Cosmic Socialite.” She laughingly agreed.

Hope usually rented out a room and a bathroom on her farm. She claimed that she had experienced a variety of really interesting people over the years. However, she had not rented the room for the past two months. With the house selling and all my plans changing, renting her room was the perfect solution. I could rent Hope’s room while the new house was being built. She agreed. She had no one coming in. And, she laughed, “Tom’s already here.”

Of course, I also had an ulterior motive. Tom loved Hope’s place and she had already ‘seen’ him, so maybe I would get more connection with Tom while I was there. It was settled, I would move in the day I left the sold house.

Thank goodness, I chronicled all this activity. While writing this book, I had to keep checking it and realized how much of it I had forgotten.

Chapter 13

Tom Taught Me How to See Differently

It was still during the first two weeks after Tom crossed over. He came to me in a morning meditation; at this point I had started meditating both at night and in the morning. I could ‘feel’ him there but wanted more. I told him I wanted him to talk with me. Nothing like telling someone on the other side what you want. I got good at it! After all, if you don’t ask….

He replied, “Just wait, you will see.”

I heard that!! I was getting better at ‘hearing’ Tom.

Then a series of faces appeared in front of me. I asked Tom who they were. He explained they were all him, but in different life times!

WOW! Now as interesting as that sounded, I wanted to know why he was showing them to me. He said,

You need to learn to see differently, it’s different than seeing the energy you see.”

It was hard to hold a meditative mind after that. He laughed at me and then it seemed as if he were gone. I responded with, “You brat, you are just being a tease. Come back here.”

Just because you ask or tell, does not mean you get what you ask for, on this side or the other side, apparently.

Chapter 14

The Cosmic Socialite Is At It Again

Suzanna, the girlfriend who arrived in slippers and pajamas, and who was so supportive, phoned me later that morning; she phoned two and three times daily to check in on me. The old saying that ‘You really find out who your friends are in times of distress’ is definitely true. Dad laughed when he was with me, does the phone ever stop ringing? Friends are awesome. They allow you to cry when you need to; they allow you to talk when you need to; and they will just hold you when you need them to. This time, however, Suzanna also wanted to share what new thing Tom had done.

She explained that the prior night they could not get the stove to work. They tried various things including replacing fuses and nothing worked. She was not in a position to replace the stove and was worried. She went to bed telling Tom off, because if he were still on this side, he would fix the stove for her. He often fixed things for Suzanna; like with everyone else, he was her favorite handyman. The following morning, she got up and the stove was working?!

She simply said, “Thank you Tom.”

Chapter 15

Now Tom’s Using My Dreams?

Throughout this time, I was still getting my hugs and my cuddles. I loved going to sleep at night with Tom cuddling me and, in the mornings, I usually woke up with Tom cuddling me. If I could not ‘feel’ or ‘sense him’, I simply asked where he was and would immediately feel his arm slide around me. At this point, I would still rather have the physical sensation, but feeling him cuddling me was awesome and I really appreciated it.

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