Excerpt for Empower You! Mindset Transformation: A Daily Devotional for the Mind by , available in its entirety at Smashwords



Mindset Transformation: A Daily Devotional for the Mind



Empower You!

A Quote a Day to Keep Negativity Away



By Kezia Arterberry

Forward written by Rutha Arterberry





~~~

Smashwords Edition



Copyright © 2018



All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review



Smashwords Edition, License Notes



This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.



DEDICATION



You are a dreamer

You are bold, ambitious and driven

You have a passion and a purpose

You must fulfil your destiny



You have goals and aspirations

You are perfectly imperfect

Beautifully flawed



There is a reason you are here

May you discover that reason

Accomplish your goals and pursue your dreams



My sister, my brother

This book right here

Is for you.



SPEAK LIFE

Spoken Word Poem by Kezia Arterberry



"Some days, life feels perfect
Other days it just ain't working
The good, the bad, the right, the wrong
And everything in between" (Toby Mac)



"Some days the tongue gets twisted;
Other days my thoughts just fall apart
I do, I don't, I will, I won't
It's like I'm drowning in the deep."



We are at war
And our words are our weapons
And like a weapon of mass destruction we spew out fiery words
Chemical weapons, capable of mass murder
With our intricate vocabulary we intoxicate, Sealing our own fate, like suicide
And now we impatiently wait
For a result that will never exist
Because we have murdered potential before it was even birthed



We curse, as if we are destroying demons,
But really, we are only giving birth to new ones
Milking them with lies
We’re guilty, we feel shame
So we justify to cover up
And if at some point, bits and pieces of the truth manage to escape our candy coated lips
We use it to buffet our lies like a prenup
As if we really know what we are letting our tongues get us into
When our tainted lies drip
As smooth as a rhythmic poet spits
As, smooth as Shakira moves her hips
And supposedly, even they don’t lie
Surely, our futures will reflect the seeds we have planted with our words
And to make matters worse
Even some of our truth is counterfeit



We are artists, painting on the blank canvas, we call our life
We think so little of our thoughts, light pencil sketches, the rough draft, the beginnings of what will soon be a masterpiece
An artistry, we hope will be beautiful
But it can't be, because
Negativity destroys the possibility



We have a storage of ammunition, that we carry around as baggage
Hurt, guilt, embarrassment, disappointment
Or whatever we are trying to protect ourselves from
Our guns, loaded, ready for aim
The tongue is savage
Barbaric by nature
An anaconda
Small, quick and powerful
Sharper than a two edged sword
Slick like a serpent

Ready to devour
Lemons, turns the sweetest to sour
This anaconda can't
This anaconda don't
This anaconda won't speak life
Unless we make it



Slow to speak and swift to hear
The wise do this, while waiting for greatness to appear
Their vision is clear
Their hearts and their minds are in tune with the truth
And their minds are not aloof



Death and life is in the power of the tongue
Soft answers turn away wrath

While harsh words stir up anger
Imminent danger
Don't allow this truth to be a stranger
Because we have the power
To resurrect what is dead
By speaking life
Our tongue is a flaming fire
And our thought is the fuel
It's up to us to tame
It's up to us to adjust the frame
So we are not seeing 20/20 out of narrow lenses
Narrow minded, perception
Only able to see, vertically, by election
This is the innovation of negativity
But with a word of hope
You can plant a seed of life
And at the same time, put negativity to death



Well it's crazy to imagine,
Words from our lips as the arms of compassion,
Mountains crumble with every syllable.
Hope can live or die… So speak life, speak life..”



So from this moment and on
The words you speak, I pray it be
Like medication dripping from an IV
Speak words of life, to illuminate darkness
So even the blind can see
Let our words be as incense
Filling an entire room with a sensual aroma of love and peace
Rather than, strife, causing one to need a drink
Cause no matter what you think
No matter how hard you try
It’s only another lie
That you can drink away the pain
And that being fake will win you the game



Stop telling lies. Stop believing lies.
Stop saying you are not beautiful
Stop saying that you are worthless
Stop saying that you have no purpose
When you believe the lies that other people have spoken over you, you give them the control
They don't deserve it
Because when you do, you bargain your future
Lies and negativity is the price
Are you willing to pay that cost?



If not, I beg you
To stop believing the lies that were once forced down your throat
Instead, let these words evoke a notion of hope
Let these words breathe life into your lifeless soul
Cause deep down you know that you were birthed with purpose
And no matter how many times haters told you, you were worthless
You knew the words they spoke were baseless



Instead of allowing negative thoughts turned into negative words to rape our lives
Suffocating a sense of purpose and pending destiny
Let us take back control
Realizing that it starts with our tongue
Because we are at war
And words are our weapons
So speak a word of life, even if you are yet to believe it in your heart



Remember, the first step is to start.



Table of Contents



Forward

Message From The Author:

Introduction

What Is Mindset Transformation And Why Does It Matter?

Introduction Part 2

Congratulations!

References And Resources

About Empower You!

About The Author:



FORWARD

Written by Rutha Arterberry



Whatever we need or want in life, we must speak it into existence. We have to be careful about what we meditate on, as well as what we listen to with our ears, because what we hear is connected to our thoughts; what we meditate on. The same goes for what we allow our eyes to see; to focus on. It is imperative that we focus on positive things. We must keep our vision in focus.

The things that we meditate on are the things that we allow to replay in our minds; which is connected to our hearts. Passion. This directly affects our behavior, anything that we say and do. There is life in our tongue, the words we speak. We have the power to build a person up and encourage them or we can tear a person down, causing them to feel discouraged. We don’t just have the power to build or tear down someone else, but we have the power to do that to ourselves! Death and life is in the power of the tongue. We must consciously choose to speak positive, because what we say will eventually come to pass. What we think will determine how we feel about ourselves and about others. Most importantly, our lives can become a reflection of the very things that we say and do now.

I encourage you to pay attention to your thinking patterns. What is in the heart will come out in our emotions, our speech and behavior. Once again, whatever we need or want in life, we must speak it into existence. Believing is seeing. We must keep speaking positive, until we see the results. Consistency is the key.

Empower-You, will help redirect your focus. It will keep you encouraged and motivated to be consistent on your journey to success. You are about to embark upon a journey, 70 days of positive quotes that will challenge your way of thinking and transform your mindset; enabling you to develop a more positive and optimistic perspective in life!

Proverbs 18:21 says,

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Remember, you are a product of what you believe!

Rutha Arterberry



MESSAGE FROM THE AUTHOR:



The goal of Empower-You is to keep you encouraged, inspired and motivated to pursue your dreams! I want to see you happy, successful and thriving. But life is a journey. We have good days and bad days. Likewise, we have days when we're full of positivity and days when we are seemingly bombarded with negativity. Empower-You is here to help you on your journey to being happy, successful and thriving. Empower-you is filled with quotes that have been created to keep you focused on the positive things in life; to give you a word of hope, wisdom and guidance.

We can go to church Sunday morning, listen to a motivational speech, or have a good friend give us a word of encouragement, resulting in us feeling energized and ready to take on the world. But unfortunately, those moments don't last forever. There are days, where we find there is no one around to encourage us. That is why, sometimes, you have to encourage yourself! Sometimes, you have to empower yourself. That is what Empower –You is all about!

As you prepare to take on the world, remember that happiness is a choice. And it all begins with your mindset. What is your perspective of the oppositions you face in life, day to day? Empower-You gives you words of wisdom; something positive to read and apply to your life. It will help change your outlook on life’s oppositions, for the better. See this book as opportunity. An opportunity, to forge ahead on the road to your God given purpose!



INTRODUCTION



Empower-You is a daily devotional for the mind. So, allow this book to serve as a tool to aid in the transformation of your mindset, to develop a success mentality. The quotes you will read throughout this book will reinforce the concept of attaining and maintaining a success mindset and healthy confidence. Briefly, I would like to cover both concepts with you, so that you can effectively study and apply each quote to your life as necessary. As I cover each concept, I will share with you some personal experiences to further highlight meaning and enhance understanding. Let’s begin!



Mindset (noun)



A set of beliefs or a way of thinking that
determine one’s behavior, outlook and
mental attitude.



What Is Mindset Transformation And Why Does It Matter?



Most people are familiar with the concept of having a positive or negative mindset. However, many people remain in the dark about the concept of having a growth or fixed mindset. The concept of a growth and fixed mindset was developed by Psychologist, Carol Dweck of Stanford University. Regardless of your awareness of it, we all have either a growth or a fixed mindset. The state of your mindset has a direct effect on your behavior and determines whether or not you progress towards your goals.

Everyone has a self-theory, which is the belief that you hold about yourself. Your belief about yourself is a reflection of how you perceive yourself. Your self-perception correlates with your mindset. If you perceive yourself negatively, then you likely have a fixed mindset. If you have positive self-perception, then you likely have a growth mindset. If you have a fixed mindset, however you perceive yourself, you believe that those traits are fixed. Therefore, you do not bother to change them (learn and improve). If you have a growth mindset, however you perceive yourself, you believe that those traits are flexible. You believe that those traits can be changed.

The concept of having a positive or negative mindset and a growth or fixed mindset is all connected. Dr. Carol Dweck studied the behavior of thousands of children. Through her research she discovered that the underlying beliefs that students have about themselves determines the type of mindset they have, which reflects their behavior in an academic setting. For example, students who perceive themselves as smart individuals, have a growth mindset and tend to have a more positive response to setbacks. These students believe that they can learn, practice and improve until they become successful in their pursuit. On the other hand, students who perceive themselves as dumb, tend not to put forth as much effort in achieving success and therefore, they are less likely to achieve it.

A person who has a growth mindset tends to see mistakes as a learning experience, rather than failure. They see it as an opportunity to expand their knowledge and improve. With this mindset, even if you aren’t very knowledgeable, skilled or if you make a mistake, you believe that with practice and perseverance, you can improve and succeed at whatever it is that you are desiring to do. Whereas, someone with a fixed mindset seemingly finds contentment in their failure. These individuals unintentionally close themselves off from the possibilities of learning and improving. They accept the result as is and don’t see the benefits of trying again. Having a growth mindset is a clear pathway to success. Although the path is not clear itself, because there will be bumps in the road, it is a path that ultimately leads to success. Having a fixed mindset will leave you right where you began with no progress and therefore, no success.

If you want to be successful in life and achieve your goals, then it is important to be aware of your mindset. To determine what kind of mindset you have, you must pay attention to how you respond to challenges. When unexpected challenges arise, how do you react? The next time a challenge arises or a setback occurs, I encourage you to take out a sheet of paper and jot down your initial thoughts about the situation. And, if you’ve already physically reacted, make a note of that as well. How you respond is a reflection of your mindset in that situation. If you shut-down and give up when a challenge arises or a mistake is made, you know where you stand. If you persevere and look for solutions and opportunities to learn and improve when a challenge arises or a mistake is made, you know where you stand as well. The first step to progress and change is awareness and acceptance. The moment you become aware of your mindset and you accept it is the moment that you can begin to make changes if needed.

Empower You can be the beginning of your mindset shift, if you want it to be. It won’t happen, unless you allow it to. With Empower You, you can begin to shift your mindset from negative to positive, from fixed to growth, but that is only possible if you are aware of what your mindset is to begin with. The goal of Empower You is to help you shift your mindset, so that you will focus less on the negative and more on the positive. Less on your problems and more on possible solutions. Less on what you can’t do and more on what you can do. Less on what you don’t want and more on what you do want. Why? Because, when you focus more on the positive and less on the negative, you take back your power! You allow yourself to be a little more happy, more at peace and more open to the possibilities of abundance and success. When you reside in a negative space, you close yourself off to the positive things in life that God has for you. The more you complain and focus on what you don’t want to happen in life, the more negative energy you are putting out into the atmosphere. You know what happens when you do that? You attract more negativity! That is why it is so important that you allow this transformation to take place in your mindset.

Mindset transformation is a process. Just like developing a new habit, it takes time, days to be exact. Empower You is a daily devotional broken down into 70 days. According to the European Journal of Social Psychology, it takes about 66 days to form a habit. We’re going to view this mindset transformation all the same, except, we must keep in mind that we are creating more than a habit, we want it to be a lifestyle. So, while 70 days is great starting point, it doesn’t have to end there. Once you have read through all 70 sections of Empower You, it is my hope that you will see a difference in your ability to focus on the positive things in life. Not only that, but that you will have a much better understanding of your purpose, your goals and how to achieve them, regardless of how impossible they appear to be initially. It is my hope that all those things will motivate you to continue on. You can do whatever it is that you set your mind to, but it all begins with you and your mindset!



DEVELOPING A SUCCESS MINDSET

DEVELOPING A SUCCESS MINDSET

MINDSET (CHANGING YOUR MINDSET), GOAL SETTING, BREAKING LIMITATIONS



Mindset and Goal Setting



Exercise 1:

For this exercise, we are going to answer this question: Where do you want to be in 5 years? As you answer this question, I want you to close your eyes, and imagine what that looks like for you, with as much detail as possible. Skim through the checkmarks and complete each one.

• Close your eyes.

• Imagine where you want to be 5 years from now.

• Remove the ceiling. The sky is not the limit, because there is no limit. Anything is possible. Anything can happen. Right now, there is no such thing as fear, mistakes or failure. There are no limitations.

• Money is not a limitation. Support is not a limitation. You have everything you could possibly want and need to make this dream a reality. There is nothing hindering you.

• Where are you? What does that look like?

• Open your eyes.

Remember: For this exercise, there are zero limitations. Limitations don’t exist. Half the time, limitations are only in our heads or they appear to be bigger than they really are. They are things that, down the line, we eventually realize that we never needed to worry about them in the first place.



What are your specific goals that you imagined you’d accomplished?

• On a blank sheet of paper, write down those goals.

• For each goal, write down specific steps that you must take to accomplish that goal.

• For each goal, write a date.

• For each step, write down a time estimate, you think it will take you to accomplish that one step. It is only an estimate, it does not have to be accurate.

Ask yourself: Does my dream seem more achievable and attainable now that I’ve written it down on paper; Now that I’ve set specific goals, with the necessary steps to achieve those goals?

Imagine, if you can set goals that result in your dream coming true, then why not go for it? Why not believe? Why not do what it takes to make your dream come true, so that you can be exactly where you dream of being in life 5 years from now? 10 years and so on.

The idea of this exercise is to get you to… 1) Practice dreaming big, seemingly impossible and impractical dreams, and then, 2) Practice scaling it back, so that you can zoom in and set small goals that lead to the big dream.

I am trying to show you that your dream, no matter how big it is, no matter how impossible it may seem, is possible! Your dream is worth pursuing. It may not look like it right now, but if we can just change your focus.. If we can just change your perception of your dream, then we’re onto something!



Tackling Limitations



Often times, what keeps us from believing that our dreams can become a reality is our limitations. Notice that I said ‘believing.’ That is important to emphasize, because if we don’t first believe that it is possible, then the chances of it happening at all becomes slim to nothing. I could spend a lot of time telling you how you should believe in yourself and that your dream is possible, but it is essential that we tackle what it is that causes us to doubt the endless possibilities of success.

It is limitations that keeps us from achieving success.



What are limitations?

• Anything that stands in between you and success

• When it comes to success, the majority of limitations are:

• Mental rather than physical

• A learning disability or a physical disability. However, those are not the only limitations.

- Mental limitations include:

- Doubt

Depression

• Low self-esteem

• Failure

• Mistakes

• Criticism

• Lack of support

• Lack of knowledge

• Lack of money

• Fear



Look at this:

What if we were more knowledgeable on how our mindset effects how we view our limitations? Even though our limitations exist, we do not have to let them limit us. If we change our mindset, then we change our perspective. We do that by changing our focus. Instead of focusing on our limitations, commonly referred to as the things we lack, let us focus on what we do have and what we can do to either accommodate for what we lack, or the ways that we can attain what we lack. Sometimes, we can use what we lack as a benefit.



Exercise 1: Part 2:Going back to where you see yourself 5 years from now..

• Look at your goals and the steps that you will take to achieve them. Write out a list of every possible limitation that you can think of. Only write the limitations that you really feel are currently hindering you from fully believing 100% that your dream(s) are possible.

• After identifying those limitations, take a moment and think about why those are limitations. Then, write down your reason(s) why next to each limitation.

Now, it’s important that we work on changing your perspective.. To do this, let’s change focus. Instead of focusing on the limitations, which we often call “the problem,” also known as our reason to justify “I can’t” and “It won’t” … Let us focus on the solution.

What are the positive things that you have going on in your life right now? For you, it may be having a supportive family or friends. Maybe, it’s your stellar grades or your job. Maybe, it’s your knowledge, skillset, talent, etc. Whatever it is, I want you to write them down. Every time you think of your dream and the reasons why it is not possible, I want you to kick those thoughts to the curb and replace them with positive thoughts. Focus on what you just wrote down. Do this every time.

Changing your focus ultimately helps create a lasting change in your mindset. It helps build a success mentality. It is a process. It takes time. It will not happen overnight.



DEVELOPING A HEALTHY CONFIDENCE

DEVELOPING A HEALTHY CONFIDENCE

DEFINING CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE VS HEALTHY CONFIDENCE



Confidence vs Healthy Confidence:



In this section, I will refer to confidence as Healthy Confidence. Let me explain to you what the difference is between confidence and Healthy Confidence.



Merriam Webster defines confidence as:

A feeling that you can do something well or succeed

A feeling/belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something

The feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances

Faith, belief or trust

The quality or state of being certain

When I say Healthy Confidence, the definition of the word confidence, itself, does not change. However, when I say Healthy Confidence, I am talking about a type of confidence that is long lasting. A confidence, that once you get it, it’s there for life. It is not contingent on circumstance, changes in physical appearance or anything else. It is a ‘from the inside-out’ type of confidence.

Healthy Confidence is rooted in knowing who we are. Not who we think we are and not who other people say we are. Who we are is who we were created to be. Most people will define us by what they can see. But really, many people are still operating in their potential. They are not yet living in the fullness of who they really are. They are yet to discover their intended purpose and all that they are capable of doing. So, if you ever find that your confidence is unstable, maybe it has to do with a lack of knowing who you are. Maybe you already know what unique skills, talents and abilities you have, but you don’t know how to use it in a way that makes you stand out. Or, maybe you have yet to discover your passion or purpose. This all ties into having a sense of knowing who you are. Some, on the other hand, are stuck in their past; the negative things that people have said about them and how people may have labeled and defined them. Sadly, that is what they have clung onto.

The goal is to develop a healthy confidence that is not based on what we’ve done, or what other people have defined us as. Instead, it is to be based on who we truly are. Potential and all. No matter what background or religious belief you have or don’t have, the one thing we seem to all share is the common belief that we were created with a purpose. Whether our conception was planned or not, we were birthed, destined with purpose. That is something that no one can take away from us, unless we willingly give it up.



How do we get this confidence?

To develop a healthy confidence, we have to change our mindset. We must change our focus, which is our outlook. It’s all about what we are focused on. What are you focused on? Are you focused on the negative or the positive? The positive things are the things that you are good at, the things you’ve down well, what you’ve learned from your mistakes, things that you’ve learned about yourself, from your failures and the criticism of others.

Mindset is all about how you look at things. So, to develop a healthy confidence, we have to develop a healthy outlook on ourselves and the life that we live.

Notice: I said “develop,” to acknowledge and remind you that it is and will be a process. It won’t happen overnight. Techniques that I share with you are techniques that you can practice every day until it becomes a lifestyle. We are not aiming to develop habits. We want to create a lifestyle. Emotionally and Mentally.

Notice: Instead of saying that we should develop a healthy outlook on life, I said “the life we live.” That is because we can all turn on the news and see that the world we live in is in chaos. There is negativity all around us. It is as if, when we were born, we were programmed to focus on the negative more than the positive. Hence, the reprogramming. Here we are, having to change our perspective (focus), so that we are not looking at the negative things more than the positive. Also, so that we can be happy, even when we are not.. So that we can be confident, even when we are not.



How is that possible?

It is possible to be confident, even when you are not, because having a healthy confidence is not based on what we’ve done or who other people say we are. It is based on who we really are. I would love to say that it’s based on who we say we are and think we are, but I cannot. While I do believe this is true to an extent, I won’t emphasize that point, because there are too many people who are not speaking and believing the right things about themselves. There are people who are looking in the mirror, defining themselves by what they see or what other people have said about them. And, those are the very things that they have come to believe and even speak aloud about themselves.

To develop a Healthy Confidence.. We have to start over. We need a clean slate. We do this, by separating who we are from who we use to be. We separate who we are now from our past failure, mistakes, the labels others have put on us, the words people have used to define us and our physical appearance. Keep those things separate.

Often, what we go through in life; our struggles and challenges, can help us grow into the person we are meant to become. And more-so, it influences our perspective of the world around us. Yet, it does not solely make us who we are in this moment. We are not the mistakes we’ve made and we are not what people have labeled us to be. We are who we were created to be, and this is with purpose.

Now that we’ve separated, we are going to change our focus. We are not going to focus on the mess, the negative stuff. Instead, we are going to leave that baggage right where it is and change our focus. Now we are going to focus on us. Focus on you. Who you really are. In this moment, who are you? Are you a being of change? Hope? What are you good at? What are your strengths? What is your dream? What can you do to invest in yourself? What are the things that you can do to actively pursue your dreams?



Try this:

• Close your eyes. Imagine the person you want to be.

Now tell yourself: “That’s who I am!” Every time you see yourself in a mirror, remind yourself, “That’s who I am. I am loved. I am talented. I am skillful. I am full of potential and will live my dream. It’s who I am!”

Whenever you are reminded of the old you, remind yourself that, that is separate. It’s okay to look back and learn from your past. It helps you grow. But, don’t stay there, because we are destined to move towards our future. Things will come our way to challenge us. That’s a guarantee. Many people have gotten comfortable in their mess, because that is what they are used to. Don’t let that be you.

To achieve success, we must step outside of our comfort zones. For continuous success, we can’t just do it once. In fact, it cannot just become a habit, but it must become a lifestyle. Living outside of your comfort zone… Get comfortable with being uncomfortable!

Isn’t it ironic that I grew up shy, extremely quiet and socially awkward, but today, I am more comfortable on a stage in front of many people, more than I am in front of a small group of people that I am familiar with? As ironic as it is, it is true. What got me over the hump was this: Separating myself from the bullying, teasing, and the fact that people would introduce me to others by saying my name and adding something like, ‘She’s so quiet and shy. She never talks!’ Those kind of words became attached to me like my last name. The time came, where I had to separate myself from those things. So, I started telling myself and other people that I was no longer shy, I was just quiet. Then over time, I started telling people that although I use to be shy, I am not that person anymore. Why did I do this? I did it because I was embracing who I was, and I was ready to let the world know that I am no longer shy or socially awkward.

Looking back, I remember the time when one of my teachers, in elementary school, conferred with my parents about putting me in Special Education classes, because I literally would not open my mouth and speak to anyone. You would have thought that I was mute. My classmates would tease me, attempting to get me to talk, but I wouldn’t. Often times, I would go home crying. I only behaved this way at school. Though, I wasn’t very talkative outside of school either. I didn’t understand why I was the way I was, but it is part of my story. It is something that I had to overcome.

Nevertheless, a time came, where I had to separate myself from that shy, lonely, socially awkward little girl. There came a time when I realized that I could no longer be that person. I no longer wanted to be identified as those things, because I was ready to shift. I was becoming someone else. But initially, it can be difficult to shift, because it requires adjustment, it requires change, that most often, not only affects you, but the people around you as well. For me, I struggled to shift, because people continued to introduce me by name and by adding comments such as, ‘Oh she’s so shy. She never talks!” It was challenging to break past that, because I was always on defensive mode. For a while, I felt like I had to explain myself to every person that brought it up. The reason I had such big issue with is because I was aware of the shift that was taking place. I was transforming from a soft-spoken individual, to a more confident, outgoing personality. But it wasn’t happening overnight.

Even today, I find myself wanting to introduce myself, not only by name, but by adding really quickly, how I’m not as talkative as most people. As if that’s a bad thing. Let me tell you, once you get to the other side, once you get over the hump, once you separate… It won’t matter! You won’t have to explain or defend yourself whenever someone has an opinion of you. Your healthy confidence will transcend any discouragement that comes your way.

Healthy confidence is being rooted and grounded on the other side. Knowing who you are and embracing it, to the point where people can look at you and treat you as if you are the same old person, and have it not bother you is having a healthy confidence. Sure, you may feel defeated, like the old you, embarrassed and weak at times. That’s okay, we’re human. But you don’t stay there. When you have a healthy confidence, your snapback game is strong. You snapback into who you know you are today. It doesn’t mean that you’re perfect and it doesn’t mean that you’re not still growing. It just means that you are confident, even when you are not.

To this day, I still find myself having to separate from the negative things in my past. I use to be nervous when meeting new people and speaking in front of people. If someone asks me if I’m nervous, nowadays, sometimes I say yes. However, when they walk away, I say to myself, ‘Why did I say that? I’m not nervous. I mean, I’m not shaking and a nervous wreck like I use to be. That’s not me anymore.’

I said all of that, to say this: We must recognize that the words we speak have power. Even if you don’t believe it, remind yourself that you have separated from the old you and now you are in transition. You are transforming into who you were created to be. Confident and passionate. Remember that consistency is the key. You have to keep speaking positively about yourself. Negative thoughts will come but you have to kick them to the curb and replace them with positive thoughts. You have the power to do that, but you must do it consistently. One day, you will walk on stage and realize that you are not afraid anymore.


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