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Love 24/12/17

Old wounds, ouch.

I’d like to say they don’t define me, but they’ve really helped me out.

Suss out what’s important to me

And gosh, it’s simple but revolutionary

A four letter word with meaning applied by all

Absolutely there to catch my fall

And I hope it bring us together, us people

It’s really all that’s left after all devastations

It may be tainted but still gives me elation

And is there, always, stops all stations

And I trust it to soothe complications

It was the first thing there

And always the last left in the air

It’s what remains when you strip me bare

Whispers in my ear real care

I get drunk on your flare.

I will love unconditionally

Because hatred feels foreign to me

Live 3/12/17

There comes a time when I need to stop writing that to do list

Turn off the motivational video and forget about the trending news I’ve missed

We get too invested in the planning of an event

That we lose sight of action and instead prevent

The actual happening that will make progress, the fool with a smooth pen and measured risks

Is the same fool without a story; perhaps a formula and a how-to disc?

I doubt at the end of your life you’ll be glad to look upon the pages filled with numbers and averages

On how to change your life

You won’t feel right

Just because you avoided damages

You won’t be glad to have lived with all falls cushioned

The capacity it takes to feel bad and accept mistakes

Is the same capacity to feel alive and liberate

Real change and progress comes from discomfort-it will push you to change

And will be different at every age

So remember the hard times aren’t curses at all but blessings in disguise

To give you another chance to pull through and shine

Rejection, judgement, misunderstanding and complete failure WILL happen and without soft landing

Don’t be afraid-it’s part of the journey

Instead be bold and embrace learning

Step outside your comfort zone-that’s where the magic is

Stop pretending you know what’s going to happen-that’s tragic bliss-

Go in head first with a level mind

Say no and mean it, say yes and mean it, stop checking the time and triple checking things are in line

Dare to live and do it now because you’re never getting out of life alive

Anxiety 3/11/17

It’s coming and it’s big

It’s the only constant-time to put out that cig

Clearing away the old for the new

I know it’s good for me, even if I only get a few

Answers to my questions or relieving activities

Only time will tell how well I adapt to nativities

Amongst the blur of overlapping triggers

There’s a patch of light with ideas and strength unwithered

Right now it’s all I have to focus on;

What’s working for me, although it’s almost gone

Disguised by my bogus anxieties

Like food labels informing of false dietaries

Ah so cunning and strong you stand

I was conned into giving you my hand

To walk through darkness, not alone

But with the enemy I was shown

How you operate and catch the prey

Persuasive and desperate, grabbing onto anything that reeks of R.E.P.L.A.Y

And so over and over in my mind

I’m taken on a ride of that one time I was unkind

So close to ruining me

But I got up

And I’m getting up now

At the end of this battle, it will be me who takes a bow

Count on it

Instead of your hurtful whispers at night, you’ll clap me to sleep

The show will be over and my dignity mine to keep

50 Dollars 9/10/17

I really do see the beauty in things

Seems the hardest to see the beauty in me and that really stings

Not many people have gone out of their way

To tell me how beautiful I am but that’s okay

Because I am fiercely independent, like we all are and getting attached to the good opinions of others is a trap, just like the bad ones

It’s helpful to remind oneself that you are completely independent of the good AND bad opinions of others

That way you forget the hate and come to discover

A support system that’s reliable and consistent-self love

Believe in you

Love you

You’re living with you forever

And if that isn’t true strength, I dunno what is

If you stomp on a 50 dollar note and leave it in the gutter

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