Excerpt for Impact of the Shift - Finding Yourself Through Your Experiences by , available in its entirety at Smashwords









The Impact of the Shift

SMASHWORDS EDITION

Published by

Lightning Source on Smashwords


The Impact of the Shift

By Zinna Ary-Davis

Copyright © 2018 by Zinna Ary-Davis


Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.


















The Impact of the Shift


A Workbook for Finding Yourself through Your Experiences




By


Zinna Ary-Davis

Shreveport, Louisiana







Copyright © 2018 by Zinna Ary-Davis

All Rights Reserved


Printed in the United States of America by Lightning Source


No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except by a reviewer who may quote brief excerpts in a review. No part of this book may be transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission of the publisher.


For more information or to order the book, visit https://www.facebook.com/zinna.davis?fref=ts



ISBN: 978-0-578-15285-1

eISBN: 9781370851379


First edition: January 2018







Contents



Chapter 1 - Begin Right Where You Are

Chapter 2 - Your Great Awakening

Chapter 3 - Who’s the Boss in Your Life?

Chapter 4 - Are All Your Experiences Filled With Joy?

Chapter 5 - How You Can Unplug the Negative

Chapter 6 - Who's in the Driver's Seat of Your Life?

Chapter 7 - Stepping and the Impact of the Shift

Chapter 8 - Are Baby Steps Acceptable?

Chapter 9 – About Your Higher Being

Chapter 10 - What You Are Really Missing?

Chapter 11 – Removing the Mask








Dedication


In loving memories of Brenda Campbell – Sanders. One of the most intelligent, fierce, loving, caring, supporting, authentic, pure heart, guardian angel. God allowed me to have in my life when my journey was dark, and I wanted to give up. You called, motivated, loved, laughed and inspired me. “I love you to the moon and back.”


When I was challenged, she opened her doors to me.

When I was frightened, she protected me.

She shared her wisdom, her guidance, and unconditional love.

As she battled cancer, she unflaggingly gave strength to me.

She was the living, breathing difference in my life.


This book is lovingly dedicated to my beloved Godmother,


Nell Francine Jameson McGee

&

Brenda Campbell - Sanders










Acknowledgements


The living of my life so that I could write this book was supported by many people. My brother, Richard McGee, helped in nameless ways. Angie William and LaToya Sullivan were a disguised guardian angel, Dr. Julie Fowler, the Dean of Kilgore College, mentored me. Mrs. Althea Richardson opened her doors and her arms to me. My sister, Trina Ary, talked me through challenging nights. Sherrie Holland helped make the dream of this book happen. Mrs. Brenda Sanders Campbell offered encouragement and unconditional love.


C. C. deserves special appreciation and admiration for helping with my mom when she was ill, for being the friend to motivate me, support me, to listen without judgment, and to push me back into balance. You went beyond anything expected; your generosity exceeded comprehension; you were supportive more than the norm. I love you for eternity.







Introduction



In life, everybody faces daily challenges. We can feel them in the core of our belly, and they cause a shift in our lives. Some impacts are more extensive than others and have major side effects such as depression, stress, or major illness.


One of the ways we can release these shackles is to recognize, embrace, and accept The Impact of the Shift. This impact will awaken what is strong in you. I call these hurts growing pains. Remember what your mother told you: What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger!


As each of your daily challenges is completed and you have overcome the impact of it, you will shift to another level in life. Throughout the process, remember to breathe, love, and forgive. Yes, you must repeat this all day and every day because you want to live, to improve, not just survive or exist—but to fully LIVE.


Search your Pandora's Box of experiences because it is time to clean the darkness out. No one gets a pass on this. Accepting the Impact of the Shift without blaming anybody else allows you to take full responsibility, even when you think it is not your fault. If something is in your experience, somehow, someway, you have attracted that thing to yourself so that more good can grow from it.


This book encourages you to answer questions, and I recommend jotting down short answers here plus purchasing a notebook where you can expand those answers. Responding to these questions will bring about the shift, and it will help you to review your answers occasionally. You will enhance your insight into your own personal shifts. I wish you the positive Impact of the Shift.


Zinna Davis

Shreveport, Louisiana






Chapter 1 - Begin Right Where You Are



You are here. It is now. Of these two things, we can be 100% certain.


Big deal, you think? Maybe, maybe not, I say. It all depends on how you view your right here and right now.


I would like to invite you to take a journey with me through the right here and right now. Afterwards, we can come back and look at those first two sentences again.


Right here, I live in a nice condominium with great landscaping and nice neighbors. Right here, I have comfortable furniture, food in the fridge, a small companion dog named Sparky, a decent laptop, clean sheets, adequate makeup, curtains to block the afternoon sun, and a trash chute right outside my condo for easy trash disposal. Right outside my “here,” I have a 2010 Chevrolet Malibu that gets good mileage, and I have a secure spot for parking.


My ‘right here’ is plenty enough for me.


Right now, all I must do is sit here at my laptop and write. I’ve had breakfast and coffee. I have cold water sitting beside my keyboard. Cool breezes are blowing through the open sliding door. Sparky’s snoring on the day bed beside my desk. It’s all good.


My ‘right now” is plenty good for me.


If we stop and only look at right here and right now, we might see there is a ton of jokiness in both. But we don’t do that. We drag history into the right now. We fantasize about the future and inject that into the right now.


You might be sitting pretty in your own right here, but instead you could be thinking of how your spouse slighted you, how you can’t pay the bills, blaming your parents’ lack of good parenting for the condition you’re in, or thinking of a million other things that just are not pretty. I’m sorry to tell you, but you are contaminating your right here and right now when you do that.


Let’s figure out a new way to just simply BE right here and right now.






You are alive. Only life can live, so you must be life itself. Whoa! That’s a big one. What if your only task here was to figure out what you are and what life is? What if all the things that you currently think are important have zero importance at all? What if big cars and fancy clothes keep you from your real job – figuring out what you are and what life is?





We each get 24 hours every day. We each get to decide what to do with that time. The choice is ours alone to make. Now look back over your shoulder and ask yourself “What choices have I made? What have I thought was important? Is it all that important really? Do I want to stay on this same path for the next 50 years?”




Have you heard of Pandora's Box? No, I don’t mean the internet radio station. In Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman – a gift from Zeus to Epimetheus, a man who could only think backwards. (Prometheus, his brother, could only think forwards.) Pandora was accompanied by a box with instructions from Zeus to never open it.


Pandora was curious, and one day she cracked open that box. Whoosh! Out came evil in the form of spirits, and in the bottom of the box was one good thing; Hope.


Wikipedia says, “Today the phrase “to open Pandora's Box" means to perform an action that may seem small or innocent, but that turns out to have severely detrimental and far-reaching consequences.” This is what I would like you to consider—the far-reaching consequences if you open your Pandora's Box.


Each of us has a Pandora's Box, and it’s filled with yucky stuff such as our indictment of other people, things, and situations. It holds decisions you made when you were too immature to know better. It holds your failures. It has suitcases and trunks just filled with your past. But more than anything else, it holds blame for others in there, and blaming others is one of the yuckiest things in there because if it is somebody else’s fault, you can't do one darn thing about it.


When you were born, you were under your parents’ care 100% of the time. They may, or they may not have done a good job parenting you. I can tell you this; if they did not consider their own Pandora's Box and make some corrections, they carried along their parents’ yucky stuff right into your life. So true.


I have learned that some folks just do not like to look inside themselves. I do not have a problem with their choice. I am not like that though. I dig introspection—considering my own Pandora's Box and taking an inventory of what I packed in there during my early years. I have concluded that my first thirty-something years were about filling up my Pandora's Box with pain; shame; guilt; disappointments; failures; a lack of forgiveness; and most of all blaming others. So, the remainder of my life is about understanding that there might just be something better than my child-mind's belief about how-it-was.


You don’t have to look in your Pandora's Box if you want to remain where you are. But if you want to step beyond where you are, then you really must look, and you must self-correct. You are the only one who can do this self-correction, because the yucky stuff inside your Pandora's Box is made up of the immature and wrong decisions you made about life and about yourself. The only real correction is to arrive at a new conclusion about these things.


Does that seem overwhelming? Here is some good news; you only must correct one thing at a time. Oh, here is another great piece of information; your mind will bring things up for you to think about in precisely the right order at precisely the right time.


And right now, is that time. That is why I named this chapter





















Begin Right Where You Are.


One of the greatest endowments you received with your life is the gift of individuality. There is no other individual like you. You are unique among all the other men and women. Each one of those men and women are also unique. You have no competition! No one has your talents! You are unlike any other human being, and you will love this idea: There is no such thing as normal because only you can be you. Whatever you do, however you act, the way in which you live your life—that is what normal is for you. To compare yourself to any other individual stinks to high heaven and nothing useful happens.


Please take a moment and hug your individuality to yourself. Embrace your uniqueness. Know that your very selfhood is your gift to mankind, simply because of who you are! I am thinking you want to make that gift a good thing and serve yourself well in the making. Am I right?





Becoming Responsible. Okay then, one of the first things you would be well advised to take out of that Pandora's Box of yours is the idea of blaming anyone else for anything.


If you really want to capture and kill one of the yuckiest spirits from your Pandora's Box – blame – consider making this decision:


I will never blame another person for anything.


This is the last day in my life that I will ever blame anyone for what I must handle in my life. I will assume and accept the full responsibility for it – whatever it may be – and even if I cannot quite see how I have made it happen, I know that by being individually responsible, I can fix it. I will keep looking at it until I see how I was the one who made it happen. Because I held negative baggage of people and situation in my Pandora's Box, they kept attracting the same things into my life. It is not your fault for what happened to you or what someone did to you. It is your responsibility remove the blame from your Pandora's Box. This will allow you to become a creator. You will no longer be the victim of the negative behavior of others, nor will you carry the negative situation in your Pandora's Box to attract more negative situations or negative people.


Think about it. If your good buddy Darren did you wrong, can you force Darren to fix it? No, you cannot. If your mother was less-than in her parenting, can you make her change that? No, you cannot. If the police act extra harshly toward you, can you make them do something differently? No, you cannot. But what you can do is to change your thought and your actions as a result. You can change who you are right now, so that the new you do not attract less-than situations.


Being 100% responsible puts you into the 100% I’m-in-charge-of-me place, and in that place, you can change. You become the authority in your own life. You are the boss of your life; you are in charge; you are the decider; you can think up something new and different and more wonderful.


Simply because of who you are.


You can cut the umbilical cord that ties you through blame to other people and to negative situations. This one decision will remove the blocks that have kept what is good from flowing throughout your life.


If you think I am saying that this is easy, I am not. I personally had to climb some very steep hills. I am saying that it takes great courage to make this decision to assume ownership of your whole life. Once you make that decision, you will be bombarded with tests—the kind of tests that make you look inside yourself (because you are not blaming anyone else, remember?) You will be able to ask yourself, “Did I really do that? How did I do it? What was I thinking? How can I change my thinking about that?”


Life is one heck of a learning center, in case you never noticed that before. When you do not fully “get” the lesson, good old life runs it by you again and again, until you do get it. Heck, that’s okay with me. Sometimes it takes me several do-overs to fully understand how I am doing something. I am just so grateful that I only must work on one idea at a time.


You might get weary on this part of the journey. That is okay, a good night's sleep will renew you. You might want to cry sometimes. That is okay, too. A good cry is very cleansing. If you feel like giving in, give in—just do not give up. If you want to throw an angry tantrum, do that. You’ll run out of steam soon enough and can get back to making changes in your life.



Practical Steps to Leave Blame Behind


Blaming others for your life experiences is a habit. I am recommending you exchange that habit for a new one: become 100% responsible for everything in your life. Here are some ideas to help you to make that change. I recommend you purchase a notebook to write out the answers to each of the questions you'll find here. Going through this process in detail helps you to pinpoint precisely where the 100%-responsible you want to go and what you want to become.


If you take the time to answer all the questions in this book, by the time you have finished the book, you will not be the same person who began to read it.


Take a good look at your motivation to change to become 100% responsible for your life.


1. How much passion can you put behind this change?











2. Are you prepared for a long haul?











3. How can you keep yourself on track?













4. What will you do to re-motivate yourself if you fall off the wagon, or if you just don’t feel like working on the change?











5. What does your dream for the future look like? Have you written it down so that in your ‘down moments’ you can go back and read it for motivation?











6. What would it be like to be 100% responsible?











7. Does that have a certain look or a feel?













8. Who is in your life that can help you to stay accountable?











9. Would you ever consider working with a pastor, a counselor, a therapist, or a coach to strengthen your commitment to become 100% responsible? Why? Why not?









My 100% Responsible Toolbox


1. What daily skill can I use to be responsible?











2. What sentence can I create to fall back on and remind myself that it’s up to me only?











3. How often throughout the day will I stop and remind myself about my goal to become 100% responsible?











4. Will the three mealtimes in my day work to be my reminder times?











5. Can I use my calendar or my daily task list on my computer to keep me on track?











6. Do I need rewards so that I have a goal to work toward to keep me motivated?













7. Would removing something I enjoy—a take-away—work better for me? What if I could not watch a favorite TV show consequently? Would that motivate me?











8. What will show me that I have slipped back into blaming someone else? Are there clues? What are they?











9. Is there a circumstance that makes me return to my old habit of blaming others?











10. Am I patting myself on the back once a day, right before I fall asleep, for my good work to create this new habit?











What if I do not make the change?


1. What will happen in my life if I do not make the change?











2. What will happen if I continue to blame others?











3. What feelings will I feel if I continue to blame others?











4. What circumstances will remain the same if I don’t change?











5. What might it cost me to stay the same? (Yes, I mean in dollars. What is the financial cost?)











6. If I do not change, where will I be a year from now?











7. Five years?











8. How will I feel being there after this much time passes?













9. Will this affect my relationships and eventually my children? How?











10. Let's say you are 75 years old now. Look back at not having made the change to full responsibility. How does it make you feel?











Setting Up a Rewards System


1. I might not like having to change to be responsible, but will I work for a reward?











2. Do I need big rewards or small rewards for small steps? What will be my own personal reward?











3. Can I make the sacrifices that changing will require and what kind of reward will make me feel good about making those sacrifices?











4. Make a list of things you would love to enjoy as rewards. Remember you are going to need more than a couple of rewards.











5. Can you make a Big Bucket List and use those items as rewards?











6. Decide how often you would like to receive rewards.











7. How will you know when you are 100% responsible and what reward should you get?











8. Is stopping daily or weekly to just relax into your successes enough of a reward?











9. Would that keep you going to complete another day?











10. Would you share your rewards with an accountability partner?













Creating the Support, You Need


I have mentioned getting help with being accountable in your journey toward being 100% responsible. Some folks are “I can do it myself” kind of people. Some folks are “I cannot do this alone” kind of people. Either one is okay, because it is part of your individuality. Remember, you have given up on blaming. More than anyone else, please do not blame yourself. Just take the steps to fix whatever is wrong.


If you need support from a group or from another individual, this is okay. Is Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) the group for you? Is hiring a life coach or therapist right for you? Regardless of what you decide, your decision needs to be honored.


Therapists and groups have a dynamic and a group knowledge database built either from study or experience that can really help you stay on track. If you decide to go it alone, you can always read books or do internet research to get the information you need for you to stay 100% responsible. There might even be an online support group that you can join where your anonymity is insured.


Life is kind of like a maze. Each one of us is trying to make it out the other end of the maze happy and intact. Simply because of who you are, you are perfectly equipped to handle, overcome, and succeed despite anything that you packed into that Pandora's Box of yours when you were too young to know better and too young to handle it.


It really helps to see that your life is out of balance. Sometimes, the lack of balance has happened because you have been blaming someone else instead of assuming full responsibility for what you have kept deep down in your Pandora's Box without being aware of what was causing some of your imbalance. Well here you are: right here and right now. I believe that right now is your time and if you have read to this part of the chapter. I am hoping you might feel amped to be here right now.


Be true to yourself – your Individuality. You are the only one in your life who can affect the outcome of your situation. That is simply because of who you are. Deciding to never blame another is an enormous step in the right direction – the direction toward greater health, wealth, success, and happiness. Assuming 100% responsibility for your life from this point forward is another enormous leap. I congratulate you. Simply because of who you are.


The choices and the decisions you made about the people, the things, the incidents, and the stories from your past have moved on. They have flowed by you. Those past decisions have brought you to right here and right now. Making those early decisions may well have saved your life. You can forgive yourself as well as the people involved with you and remove the shackles from your feet that were hindering you from achieving your good. You can do this right here and right now. This is the very first step toward clearing that clutter out of your Pandora's Box.


Holding on to the past robs you of the breath of life and can cause you any number of health issues. Unless you have lived inside the mind of your parents, you really can not understand what made them do or not do whatever they did or did not do. You can forgive them and know they probably did the best they knew how to do. If you grew up to become someone they wanted you to be, and you no longer want to be that person, forgive them and get busy becoming the individual that YOU want to be. Simply because of who you are.


If you had to grow up too fast and assume responsibilities for your siblings or maybe even your parents, grant yourself the joys of childhood. Go enjoy them now. You might find a spot where you can spread a blanket on the grass and read or listen to music. You could drive yourself to a high spot where you can watch the sun go down and revel in just being alive.


It is time to stop blaming and start reclaiming. Now is the time for you to find yourself – your Real Self - right here and right now. Start right here and right now to live the life you would prefer. Simply because of who you are!


I know that when you Begin Right Where You Are, you can find your real self. You will be delighted to discover how unique and wonderful that real self is. With that discovery, a new door of life will open and blossom around you right here and right now.


Do you remember the questions at the beginning of this chapter? Let’s see if your sense of them has changed any:



You are here. It is now. Of these two, we can be 100% certain.


Big deal, you think? Maybe, maybe not, I say. It all depends on how you view your right here and right now.







Chapter 2 - Your Great Awakening



One of the greatest things we can accomplish in our lives is to unfold complete awareness of our Selfhood, and through that, to unfold perfect understanding about life itself. Luckily, as St. Paul mentioned, “The Law is a Schoolmaster,” and our own lives provide us with all the lessons we need to achieve total self-awareness and perfect understanding—if we know how and where to look. I would like to share how and where I looked, so you can add a few more positive tools to your Pandora's Box as you take out some of the yuckies. Wouldn't it just be too cool to turn it into a “Toolbox?”


Notice, I did not mention that we just love all our schooling. No, sometimes it is one rocky road, but hey; even rocky road is good sometimes, right? I am talking about the ice cream.


I will give you an example: Today, I was going to write this chapter after I made a quick trip to the Post Office. When I went out to my car, I discovered a dead battery. Joy to the world! Instead of grousing about the dead battery, I thought to myself “There has got to be some good wrapped up in this, so I will just sit down and do the writing first. Maybe the tow truck driver is someone I am supposed to meet.” There is always some good in every situation. I am also most grateful to have the money to pay for the jump start. I always feel good when I recognize the good in every situation. I was not always able to do that.


How do you know when you are supposed to move higher on the ladder toward complete awareness? It is really kind of simple when you step away and take an objective look. Here is what I discovered:


 When I am doing what is right for the moment, I feel comfortable.


 When I am supposed to do something better, I feel uncomfortable until I take a step up or a step forward.


It is most convenient to have this kind of a tool always at the ready. You just ask yourself in any situation, “Am I comfortable, or am I uncomfortable?” If you are uncomfortable, you are probably in some less-than-desirable situation—doing something less-than, tolerating something less-than, excusing something less-than. I know you get the picture.


To make the situation comfortable, you must look honestly at the situation, tell yourself the truth (I am feeling uncomfortable) and then ask yourself “What should I do instead?”


I will tell you that you will always have an answer to that question, but you may not always like the answer. You may not want to do what the answer requires. You might be scared to death by the answer. You might prefer to stay and remain uncomfortable.


But that darn Schoolmaster Law will keep poking at you from the inside (clue: it is YOU doing the poking) until you make yourself move away from the discomfort.


My Friend's Schoolmaster Story


I have a childhood friend who lives out in California now. She and I grew up together and have stayed in touch across the years. We were so much alike that I think we could have switched skins. I totally got her, and she fully understood me. Our letters and phone calls were fresh air to one another, although when she moved, they became less frequent.


I have a special gift. I can see clear through people, and most especially could I see through her because of our friendship. When I first began to work on emptying out my Pandora's Box of old stuff, she did, too, so I had a support buddy in this.


When we spoke, I could sense that she was holding back something. I tried to prod her about it, but she resisted. I knew there was something, and I knew that eventually it would come out. Boy, did it ever!


My friend had been married for ten years to her husband. She was without friends or other family out there in California, but he was not a good man. I later discovered he had been raping her against her will and telling her that it was not rape because she was his wife. She confronted him and told him to stop but he would not.


My friend had been raped as a young girl. This rape was in her Pandora's Box and we both knew it. She could not see that having this inside her Pandora's Box was what had attracted a man to her who had such meanness of character and spirit. For some mistaken reason, she thought the rape was a punishment from God


My friend thought she could not leave him. She was not working, and she had no friends or relatives to escape to. So, we talked. I encouraged her to find a Woman’s Shelter and get out, but you know, that took courage, and she just did not have that much courage available inside her. She was filled with fear and the fear conjured up all kinds of reasons why she had to stay and just bear it.


So, it took more months until she could summon up the guts to find a shelter. She left that house with only her clothing. When she had healed a bit and we talked, she could see that fear had paralyzed her and blinded her awareness. She was learning a lot about a way to get more comfortable at the Women’s Shelter, but she was not finished with Mr. Wonderful.


She began cheating on her husband and felt justified to do it because he was being so evil towards her. But she also felt unworthy because of his abuse. I guess the “two wrongs don’t make a right” thing never dawned on her.


She went back to him because she was still afraid she could not make a living for herself, because he told her he had changed, and because he told her that God had told him she needed to come home. I can see the manipulation in all that so easily now.


One night, she would not sleep with him and went to bed on their couch. He told her that his money paid for that couch. She said she was so upset that she told him to kill her! He choked her. He did not kill her that night, but it made a light bulb go on inside of her.


She left that night but came back the next day while he was at work. She knew she had to own full responsibility for her part in this angry dance. She knelt on the floor and repented of her sins. She understood you must “pay” in some way. You must become aware of your thoughts and how they are affecting your actions.


She went back to the Woman’s Shelter and continued to learn, to do better, and today she is a lot more comfortable in her new life.


Fear, discomfort, old mind tapes, and other echoes from the past can all paralyze you. It can make you blind to the situation you are in. You may be attracting people into your life who hurt you because of what is in your Pandora's Box.


These negative feeling and opinions of others can make you feel numb or cold, and you might put up a wall around yourself that prevents good people from loving you and you from loving them. My friend's husband did not love himself and the less-than-love vibrations bounced back and forth between the two of them. If stuff like this is in your Pandora's Box, it may be time to take an honest look at it.


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