Excerpt for Nocturnal Musings, Volume 2 – Selected Essays, Ponderings, and Meditations by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

Nocturnal Musings, Volume 2 –

Selected Essays, Ponderings, and Meditations

Copyright 2017 Bev Walton-Porter

Published by )0( Triple Crow Publishing )0( at Smashwords

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

)0( Triple Crow Publishing )0(

Colorado Springs, Colorado, U.S.A.

2017 All Rights Reserved

Nocturnal Musings, Volume 2 –

Selected Essays, Ponderings, and Meditations

Copyright © 2017

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, in whole or in part, in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system, now known or hereafter invented, without permission in writing from the publisher, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. Address inquiries to:

)0( Triple Crow Publishing )0(

Colorado Springs, Colorado


Published in the United States of America

Cover Design by Bev Sninchak





The Wedding Hair Incident

When a Tomboy Marries Her Broham

Scrooge Lives

Bathing in Bliss

Oh, the Drama!

An Inside Job – Always!

But Why Are You So Angry?

Years Ago, I was Nearly Date Raped While College Baseball Players Watched. I Kept My Story Secret for Decades.

This is All an Elaborate Hoax


On Radical Self-love

Against All Odds

Find a Way

Separating the Wheat from the Chaff

Live Your Purpose


Serve Your Own Plate

Gaining Clarity and Trusting Yourself

Believe in yourself

Truthful Balance

Sit or Stand. It’s Your Right as an American.


I’m naturally verbose. I know this because it’s not only obvious to me, but it’s painfully obvious to others. But spilling out words, either verbal or written, is how I work through thoughts or problems and eventually come to conclusions. And while I could write a long, sprawling introduction about this second volume of Nocturnal Musings, I won’t. Why? Because, first of all, most of you will skip it.

Second, anything I wanted to say or have said on the topics presented here can be found within these pages. As in the first volume of Nocturnal Musings, you’ll discover a variety of ponderings and essays. This time you won’t find any short stories, though.

Instead, I added shorter meditations about topics you might wonder about as well. Or maybe you woke up feeling like crap on a cracker and you need someone to remind you that you’re still okay, life will go on, and you get to restart tomorrow and write a new chapter in your own book of life.

As expected, you may or may not resonate with the ponderings, essays, or meditations in this book. However, there’s a chance you might. Perhaps you’ve felt the same way about getting your hair caught in a seatbelt on a friend’s wedding day. Perhaps you’ve felt the opposite and wondered how a person could view the same subject matter from an opposite point of view.

In the end, your mileage may vary (YMMV), as it’s been said. I can’t promise you’ll view life the same way I do; however, I can promise that, regardless of the subject matter, you’ll always receive my unvarnished, slightly skewed view on such matters. Sometimes served with a helping of tact, and other times served with anything but tact.

Thanks for checking out my book. I hope it elicits at least one chuckle (or fit of legit outrage) to your day. If so, my work here is done.

Bev Walton-Porter

Colorado Springs, Colorado

September 2017

The Wedding Hair Incident

One recent year, on May 7th, as we were on the way to Mike and Julie's wedding, we are tooling down the road in Mike's car. I'm in the backseat while Mike and Paul are in the front. The windows are open and wind is whirling about. My hair, which is down to my waist now (longest it's ever been), is whirling about, too. We meant to braid it, but time got away from us.

I reach behind me and grab the seatbelt, pull it forward, and work it across to latch it. It gets caught and won't pull completely forward, so I release it so it can go back into its holder so I can try again. Except the wind blows my long hair back, the hair gets rolled up into the seatbelt mechanism...and suddenly, my head can't move forward and my long hair is CAUGHT in the mechanism.

Trying not to panic, I pull at it, trying to do so without mentioning it to Mike or Paul. Nope. Won't budge. Try again, thinking, "Oh SHIT!" Still can't get it out. Can't move my head forward past a certain point, either. Realize I have to tell the guys about this stupid predicament. Because of course this would happen on the way to a wedding!

Mike pulls the car over. Lets Julie know that we have a situation with my hair caught in the seatbelt mechanism while Paul tries to free my hair. He pulls and cannot get it out. My hair is firmly installed in there, along with the seatbelt.

I ask Mike if he happens to have any scissors in his car (because hey, that's something most people carry in their car, right? /sarcasm). Nope, he doesn't. Paul usually carries a multiplier, but he didn't bring it with him this time.

Suddenly, I remember I probably have at least one, maybe two, pocketknives in my purse. I can't move my head past a certain point, so I grab my purse and fumble through it blindly, not able to fully look down and search in the bowels of my purse. AHA! There's a knife!

Paul saws at my hair with the knife, which happens to be a dull knife at that. It isn't successfully cutting my hair! SERIOUSLY? This is the type of weird shit that has happened to me my entire life, so why shouldn't I be surprised that the knife is too dull to free me from this seatbelt mechanism? Holy crap.

Minutes later, Paul is finally able to cut off a small amount of hair with the knife, but not much. Still, it's enough to manipulate the seatbelt mechanism so it'll release. The small bit of hair he's been able to cut out, maybe an inch if that, is enough to free the rest of my hair. Whew!

Crisis averted, we continue to the wedding venue, although we arrive late. I'm embarrassed, yet amused at how stupid the entire fiasco was. I mean...what are the chances? Well, if you know Paul, or me you'll know we seem to attract the weirdest damn people and situations into our lives. Events that seem so random and implausible that you'd question them. In this case, however, you are welcome to verify with Mike, who was probably thinking a whole range of thoughts we aren't even aware of!

Thanks to Julie and her husband Mike for having a sense of humor. Then again, if I could think of another person this randomness would happen to, it would be Julie. She, too, seems to attract strange events and people into her life! She's a kindred spirit in that way. Love ya, Julie!

When a Tomboy Marries Her Broham

Me: "Oh no! The last iron pill."

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