Excerpt for The Secret to a Happy Life - Let Go of Painful Emotions by , available in its entirety at Smashwords


Let Go of Painful Emotions!


Stephen Egegbara


This e-book has been written for information purposes only. The author cannot be held responsible for any personal or commercial damage caused by misinterpretation of information. All readers are encouraged to seek professional advice when needed.


Copyright 2017 by Stephen Egegbara

“Smashwords Edition”

All rights reserved.


“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” ― John Lennon

You see, this is how it happens. We all, during the course of our time in this world, miss out on the most essential key to this game of life – the happiness! Taking our precious time absolutely for granted, in the blind rat race in pursuit of materialistic goals, we often tend to neglect that life has a deeper meaning than pricey assets, flooding bank accounts or regretting over what we have lost.

The purpose of life is not to exist, it is but, to live and - live it well!

And to live it well, you need to let go of your regrets, sorrows, and grief.












How do you know the value of joy? Apparently, it is through the pains that you go through. Everything in the world has its equal and parallel contradiction. A day is followed by night, summers change into winter, autumn paves way for spring, and likewise, with pains and sorrows come happiness and joy. It is through this that we learn to distinguish things and realize their worth and without it all, life would be nothing but humdrum and monotonous.

Life has its fair share of surprising us midway through the flight. Often when we least expect it, life happens and makes its presence felt, sometimes in a good and sometimes in an unpleasant way. While it is absolutely fine to consider yourself worthy of all the best bounties of life, we should also expect some sorrows and setbacks as part of the deal. For happiness and sorrow go hands in hand with one always preceding the other.

So, if you are basking in the sunshine at the moment, you should always prepare for the rainy days that might come along. And likewise, if it is the shady clouds of sorrows that have seemed to engulf your life, remember that the silver lining is unveiling in the process and a vibrant rainbow is well on its ways.

Success, failure, joy, and grief – it is all part of the deal. You don’t get to pick and choose what you want and what you don’t when you are blessed with this package of life. So, if you have had a couple of bad experiences that have snapped shatter your self-belief, lifted your faith off the meaning of joy and is pushing you hard to dwell forever into that dark spiral of misery and grief, know that this shall pass, as all good things do and that holding on to your bad memories and unpleasant experiences would only create a barrier in the way of better things that are yet to come.

Easier said than done, our mind too, has a strange philia towards negativity. Psychologically, we are highly attuned to a negative bias. Accidents, mishaps, and atrocities, whatever is it that you have gone through in the past, is now a thing of the past. Holding on to it and not letting it go would only mean that you yourself are creating a barrier in the way of your share of happiness and surprises of life.

Feel the pain until it no longer hurts, mourn your loss, and cry until you can no longer cry. Letting go does not mean betrayal or that you are being selfish, it means that you are strong enough to spring back again, with your shoulders up and your head held high, to embrace your reality and come out stronger than ever. Remember, any coming moment could be your moment, but only if you move over your past and set headstrong towards the future horizon.

This book is your beacon of inspiration, and guidance to let go of what is holding you back. It will help you get through whatever you are suffering from and holding your hand, it will help you ease down on pain and will get you past what has been restricting you all this while.


Because not everything is worth holding onto!

You may have seen the video about stress management that lately got viral on the internet. It shows a lecturer telling his audience about the right way to deal with problems and to manage the stress.

He lifted a glass half filled with water and asked the audience to tell how heavy it could be. Different people gave varying responses, but everyone talked in terms of numbers.

After patiently listening to all the responses, the lecturer replied that the absolute weight of the glass does not matter. What matters is the time one holds it for. If a person holds the glass for a minute or two, it will not be a problem. But, if a person holds the same glass for an hour, his arm will start aching and if someone holds it for as long as 24 hours, he will be in need of medical help.

Despite the fact that neither the glass nor the amount of water in it is changed, every person feels a different impact by holding it.

The reason for this different effect is simple. The longer you hold a thing, the heavier it feels.


You do not have a say in picking on what curve balls life throws at you or the bounties it blesses you with or snatches off you - that is true. But you sure have a say in what you choose to keep in your life and what you would discard and remove. This could be termed as the simplest formula to a happy life.

Just like things do not come on their own, they won't go on their own.

It is all up to us to decide what we want in our lives. We need to prioritize what is important, what is truly significant and what is it that is worth keeping in our lives. Everything else, especially the ones that drain you of your hopes and motivation and do not help you grow needs to be removed. When you make a decision to let go of such things, you actually empower yourself. Whatever is it that is causing you the restlessness, turmoil, and grief, it has to be detached from your life. You are blessed with one life; you should not waste it.


Feel it, until it no longer hurts!

John Green was right when he said the thing about pain is that it demands to be felt. As the waves of pain and loss swipe over us one after the other, being deeply engulfed into its horrific trance, we often tend to contravene the hurt and pain we are going through. Assuming that not paying heed to this grief and despair and ignoring it would eventually help us overcome is the biggest mistake that we do, and as a matter of fact, this deliberate ignorance and denial causes us a damage that is much worse in the longer term.

When you choose to ignore your pain, all the negative emotions and destructive energy start to amass inside you and damage your personality. It triggers anger outbursts; you start losing your interest in everything and do not trust over others anymore. This accumulated negativity would cumulate to cause acute and chronic psychological disorders that you might have to suffer from, for the rest of your lives. Therefore, it is better to realize and acknowledge your pain, feel it as it is, and express it to let it out of your system.

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