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The Darndest

Dictionary


By Mark Namsick



Published in Comic Sans to be more readable

if dyslexic. Everyone else is on their own.


ISBN: 978-0-692-88516-1

© 2017 Mark Namsick All Rights Reserved.

Cover Photo by Alice Achterhof



Preface


"The beginning of wisdom is

the definition of terms."

- Socrates


According to Socrates, saying a word without understanding its meaning succeeds only in making meaningless noise. This idea had a strong impact on my early years. To see that some concepts like love or beauty could take a lifetime to partially define was humbling.

I soon realized that looking up "meaning" in the dictionary was not the shortcut to living a meaningful life, and looking up "morality" was not useful for being moral. This made me wonder often about the meaning of words, all the while adding to my own list of definitions. A love of music provided a sense of rhyme, interplay, poetic qualities and connotation.

Eventually I realized there was much more to words than could ever be put together in a "real" dictionary, and that writing one would be futile to attempt.

This is that that attempt.

And it rhymes.



Accident


Happenstance of quantum things

or pluck of luck to puppet strings.


Accompaniment


A you to be beside a me

to be a we in harmony.


Advertisement


An overpass of comprehension

built to span a short attention.


Anger


The trying sound of pain

as it tries to leave the brain.

What's expelled must then be felt,

so often we retain.


Ambition


A commodity kept in stock in every store:

more and more, and more and more.


Apathy


Were I to wear a warning

the sign would simply say:

I had three fucks this morning

but I gave them all away.


Appear


To vanish in reverse;

a line of sight traverse.


Aspire


To throw a grapple of the mind

to where you want to start to climb.


Archaeologist


He who pines to smell a fine perfume

once upon a time he might exhume.


Autodidact


A self-made man who taught himself -

no help but those who loaded screen and shelf.


Animals


All of us a cousin of em'.


Autopsy


To peel and part my parts in part to see

if perhaps a person murdered me.


Average Joe


The median man, often not

a go-getter that ever greatly got.


Battlefield


What politicians put upon

a soldier left to soldier on.


Beauty


The whole surpassing sum of parts,

as separate strokes mingle

to a single

piece

of

art.


Bias


Wind which blows your mind ashore.

Every ship resigned to drift

finds itself a derelict, no more.


Bicycle


A pulley made to push.

A brake that's meant to rush.

Oh to go for half an hour

by pedal, gear and flour power.


Birth


Mature or pre evacuation,

post mature or pre ejaculation.


Blanket


A curtain of cotton

blown by winds

of worlds forgotten.


Blasphemy


To go against the holy bible

in spirit, for in print it's libel.


Blouse


A top to stop the light revealing

what we're taught demands concealing.

Covers not the face but shames the breast;

the accepted burka of the west.


Border


The boundary those within

are all-in and bout about.


Book Bag


A bag of nooks to bag your books today

which Kindle wants to whisk away.


Break Up


Pry apart the part attained

to start a broken heart again.


Bridge


Stepping stone beyond compare:

a short-cut cut through open air.


Bull


A beast which feasts as we await

the shit that's his to delegate.


Bus


Fraternity which daily changes,

membership and destinations.


Caffeine


More imbibed when less alert

so think not hurt.


Caller I.D.


Unwanted callers christened;

a catalyst for cell division.


Calorie


A bit of your mizzle, before it's the shizzle.


Cannibals


Contrarians elite

that eat the meat

of vegetarians.


Cannonball


As the earth, a metal ball.

Once spring has sprung then all is fall.


Car


Creationists insist

it's a contrivance that drives us.


Carbon


Weightless while exhausting and it seems

to warm the world to smithereens.


Catholics


Beatles fans who coo and fawn

under Paul, and over John.


Ceiling


A blockade made for warming,

or glass barrier alarming

when used for keeping people down,

not miniature farming.


Cemetery


Fickle fates our futures jot,

putting pits in lots of plots.


Censors


Men of class few words get past

who'd never mention gas

except in passing.


Chain


A bit of clink to link a given length of links to things.


Chair


This stand can stand to bear your end

'til you can bear to stand again.


Charity


What some got,

and won't, but ought.


Chicken


A bitty bird we've often bit to bones;

purposeful when crossing roads.


Choice


To publicly contrive who lives and dies

or hang the hidden hangers up to dry.


Church


Where many people share one heart,

hand in hand, and set apart.


Circle


Any path which deviates a little

finds beginning after middle.


Clairvoyant


One who sees enough to meddle

only once the dust is settled.


Clock


An eye to watch the sun go by

despite a door or darkened sky.



Concrete


Fact of which there is no contestation,

set in stone by mixture with precipitation.


Conjugal


The modern con has visitation

to beat the rap and grant probation.


Constantine


Bestowed upon a billion people

a wild throne and broken steeple.


Consummation


Well-earned success is better than sex,

though non-validation beats masturbation.


Comedy


A beautiful fool stumbles into

happiness and fortune glue.



Computer


A billion bits of somethings

switching microscopic lights

which brighten screens,

show what more ones and zeroes


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(Pages 1-13 show above.)