Milthy Swinbuckle's Awesome Test!!!
by: Milthy Swinebuckle
We spend our lives trying to be something we're not...
Why? Why try to be something else when inside you might be AWESOME!!!
What I want to know though is: HOW AWESOME ARE YOU?
Take the simple test below. Pick an option from 1 to 5,
then read the results that are even further below the stuff that's
above it to find out your result!!!
The Awesome Test!!!
not awesome... Not awesome in slightest.
just me and I'm reasonably happy being just me. Claiming that I'm
awesome is stretching the truth quite a bit.
I'm just me and I'm happy being just me. Claiming that I'm awesome is
stretching the truth a little bit.
quite awesome. Perhaps not as awesome as I could be, but still...
quite awesome nonetheless.
AWESOME... No two ways about it. I'm the best of the best and I don't
care what anybody else thinks... I'm AWESOME... HELL YEAH!!!
Awesome Test results!!!
Now read the number below that corresponds with the
number you chose for your results (Haven't I explained all this once
already to you? You know, you really need to listen more!)
miserable fucking turd... For God's sake, take a look at yourself,
crawling about the world feeling sorry for being the person you
are... "I'm not awesome... Not awesome in slightest." Well
let me tell you something pal... YOU'RE NOT FUCKING WRONG!!! You sad
slimy little shit!!! For fucks sake stand up for yourself. For once
in your miserable little life grow a pair and man up(or woman up...
Though in this case it's probably best not to grow a pair!)...
You're reasonably happy are you? Reasonably happy... Reasonably happy
being a fuckwit!!! Well good for you... You fuckwit! You're
reasonably happy just strolling through life, keeping your head down
while the rest of humanity spits on you. Still reasonably happy now
are we fuckwit, now that I've pointed out just what you are? Well?
Are you still reasonably happy? You...you... you probably are...
I dig you. What was it you said again: " I'm just me and I'm
happy being just me. Claiming that I'm awesome is stretching the
truth a little bit." Yeah, I can dig that... Dig it like a dead
man digging down into the shit filled hell of Satan! Or in other
words, I don't dig it!
I certainly don't dig YOU!!! I mean listen to yourself blathering
on... "I'm happy being me, accept me for what I am!" Well I
don't fucking accept you. The mere thought of you fills me with so
much disgust that I'd rather sandpaper off my face than spend one
second in your tepid company... Fact is, I can see through your mask.
See through to the pissy shitty freak in hiding... The grotesque
fuckwittedness that lays beneath its soiled half-hearted grin...
You picked four! Of all the numbers to pick, and you picked four.
Fuck me, this dick picked four. No, he couldn't have possibly?...
Yes, really he did! He picked four...Ha ha... Jeez that's funny. You
think yourself "quite" awesome... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
You of all people think yourself "quite" awesome... (Oh my
God, I cannot take it)... That's just soooooo funny. This means that
you're the type of person who wakes up in the morning, looks in the
mirror and winks at yourself thinking: "Not bad... not bad at
off you TIT!!! Fuck off you... You... Pathetic twat!!!
Yes Yes YES... You picked it. You only went and picked it. That's
awesome dude. Truly awesome. Truly truly truly AWESOME!!! Awesome in
a way that makes you the most AWESOME interplanetary diseased ballbag
to ever spread his or her fowl filth across this good clean earth.
THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??? Wasn't it obvious... Wasn't it as plain
as the nose on your face that I was being sarcastic with this daft,
stupid test? And yet you still went for the option that only the
biggest loser would ever choose! There's an old saying that goes
"You're no better than the rest of us"... but in your case
that saying should be changed to "Your less better than the rest
of us"... Awesome indeed (Pah)!!! If you were to vanish
tomorrow, I could use my arse to replace you and not a soul would
know... At worse they would perhaps think that you were improving
slightly as it was now just shite that you spewed out, instead of
your usual war cry of "Hey everybody, I'm awesome" ...